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Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay topics: Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.

Do you think this is a good idea?

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

shkh9574's picture

Motivating young children to contribute to their school tasks has always been a challenge for their parents, especially now that children have access to all types of technology which could distract them. To solve this issue, some parents offer money to their children as a prize for their high grades.

Some people may think that doing so would make children spoil and lazy. However, I believe that that could be a good idea due to number of reasons which I am going to discuss below.

Giving money to the students for studying would actually gives them encourgment to study. The children are mainly too immature to actually understand the value of education and lecturing them about how they can use what they learn in the future would probably have an opposite effect. But knowing that by getting a good grade they would be able to earn something would give them enough motivation to their best. For example, I was rather a lazy student at school, never like to spend time on studying and therefore I had somewhat low grades. In order to encourge me, everytime I got a good grade, my sister used to get me books or the things that I liked. This really gave me motivation to study, and once I did, I realized that I actully like studying.

Also, for geting a good grade at school, students need to work really hard an put their heart into it. By giving them money after achiving a good grade, they would also learn about the value of money. They can also understand that they need to work hard to earn money and also they can learn that hard work would finally pays off.

To address the concern of people who thinks that this would make children lazy, I suggest that parents save the money for them instead of giving them in cash. That way it is also going. to be an investment for their future.

All in all, I believe that giving money to children for keeping them focused on their school is actually a good idea since it can both encourage them and teach them the value of hard work.

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Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 92, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: that
...dren spoil and lazy. However, I believe that that could be a good idea due to number of r...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 58, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'give'
Suggestion: give
...he students for studying would actually gives them encourgment to study. The children...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 76, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...hool, students need to work really hard an put their heart into it. By giving them...
^^
Line 7, column 322, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'pay'
Suggestion: pay
... can learn that hard work would finally pays off. To address the concern of people...
^^^^
Line 9, column 187, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: To
...hem in cash. That way it is also going. to be an investment for their future. Al...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, finally, however, may, really, so, therefore, for example

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 9.8082437276 173% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 59.0 43.0788530466 137% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 49.0 52.1666666667 94% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1635.0 1977.66487455 83% => OK
No of words: 362.0 407.700716846 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.51657458564 4.8611393121 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.36191444098 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.18753136874 2.67179642975 82% => OK
Unique words: 182.0 212.727598566 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.502762430939 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 495.0 618.680645161 80% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.51792114695 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.1835446936 48.9658058833 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.1764705882 100.406767564 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.2941176471 20.6045352989 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.58823529412 5.45110844103 84% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.53405017921 132% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.312778289516 0.236089414692 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.105851388823 0.076458572812 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0654880301075 0.0737576698707 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.171788966099 0.150856017488 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0446916671427 0.0645574589148 69% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.5 11.7677419355 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 67.08 58.1214874552 115% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.94 10.9000537634 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.12 8.01818996416 89% => OK
difficult_words: 56.0 86.8835125448 64% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.