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Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay topics: Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

mahan vahab kashi's picture

Whitout the shadow of doubt, incentives can play an important role on students education because mostly youngers do not like to study while they can have fun a load of entertainments which they have at their disposal. While som people belive that giving money to childrens in return for their good grades might effect adversely others may think vise versa. As far as I am concerned it can have good affects on them. In the following I will delve into most conspicuous reasons that persuaded me to put forward such an idea.

First and foremost, Giving money to students will give them an incentive and as a result they will work harder in order to obtain better grades. The more they study, the more knowledgable they become. An Instance of this is what my father did when I was at school. When I was eight years old and was in second grade my father told me for each grade more than B that I got he would pay a specific amount of money which was not a lot but it was enough to push me forward. He also put the money some where to makes sure I remember the prize and also assure me that he would gave it to me. So every day I studied hard just to obtain the prize and that year I became the best student of the school with an average of A. But when I grew up, my father did not gave me any money in retur for my study but still I am studying hard because I have learned to do so.

Another point that accounts this significant is it will teach students that they need to work hard and save money in order to access what they want which is a valuable lesson for their future job and prosperity. By giving a small amount of money in return of the student effort and saving that money by the kid, he/she is able to buy toys for themselved or at least pay a propotion of the price which implies that the kid himself bought the toy with his own money and leads to self confident. An example can asserts my point. I used to have a friend whose name was Billy and we studied in the same highschool. He used to buy things for himself without the help of his father which was surprising for us because we had no income. Once that I talked to me he mentioned that the money his father gives him, he saves an in the end of the year he buys something for himself. We are still friend and he still has the same charecter and because of this charecter he now owns one of the biggest companies in Iran since he has learned to work hard and save money.

To wrap it up, all aforementioned reasons and examples convinced me that because of the quality of saving money and being an incentive it is good to pay money to students. Also, there are other reasons that advocate my point which are not mentioned above.

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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 71, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
...ncentives can play an important role on students education because mostly youngers do no...
^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 312, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[6]
Message: Did you mean 'affect'?
Suggestion: affect
...s in return for their good grades might effect adversely others may think vise versa. ...
^^^^^^
Line 1, column 358, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... adversely others may think vise versa. As far as I am concerned it can have good ...
^^
Line 5, column 493, Rule ID: SOME_WHERE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'somewhere'?
Suggestion: somewhere
... push me forward. He also put the money some where to makes sure I remember the prize and ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 572, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'give'
Suggestion: give
... prize and also assure me that he would gave it to me. So every day I studied hard j...
^^^^
Line 5, column 754, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: 'give'
Suggestion: give
.... But when I grew up, my father did not gave me any money in retur for my study but ...
^^^^
Line 9, column 509, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[2]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'assert'
Suggestion: assert
...leads to self confident. An example can asserts my point. I used to have a friend whose...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 884, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'friended'.
Suggestion: friended
...uys something for himself. We are still friend and he still has the same charecter and...
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, second, so, still, while, at least, as a result

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 24.0 11.0286738351 218% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 84.0 43.0788530466 195% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 62.0 52.1666666667 119% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2189.0 1977.66487455 111% => OK
No of words: 518.0 407.700716846 127% => OK
Chars per words: 4.22586872587 4.8611393121 87% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77070365392 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.23178130224 2.67179642975 84% => OK
Unique words: 244.0 212.727598566 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.471042471042 0.524837075471 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 690.3 618.680645161 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 62.1188175998 48.9658058833 127% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.45 100.406767564 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.9 20.6045352989 126% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.7 5.45110844103 68% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.195994158089 0.236089414692 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0624371303321 0.076458572812 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0344031736595 0.0737576698707 47% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.124604498731 0.150856017488 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0181219007669 0.0645574589148 28% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 11.7677419355 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 71.48 58.1214874552 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.55 10.9000537634 69% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.25 8.01818996416 90% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 86.8835125448 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

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