Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade(mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
We parents should take care of our children’s future career topic and help them to find an appropriate job to make money, such as, provide a calm circumstance to study or create a motivation. Some simple yet efficient ways could stimuli our children to accomplish their tasks and make them much more incentive to complete and done their duty in the best way. A straightforward way to provoke is that children should be rewarded. However, I’m going to discuss whether parents offer their school-age children money as a reward for each high grade they get in school or not. I should mention that I believe this is a good idea, and I feel this way for several reasons. First of all, money makes them devour to get more good grades and second they could use their money to improve their educational aspect.
First of all, as I have mentioned before, my main reason is that rewarding (money) makes them much more devour to take more good grades, and after a while, it would be their casual habit to gain good grades, and as a result, rewarding make them pioneer in the class. Take my son, for example. I used to give him money on an excellent grade that he had acquired in his course, and this issue has made him sensitive about his attained mark. Unconsciously he has been put in competition with his friends in class, and now, without attention to the rewarding problem, he studies and accomplishes his homework. I’m proud of him.
Second, parents could guide their children to save their money and spend it for their educational purpose. Also, they could indicate and clarify to their children that any good attempt could be along with a good result or great award. Take my son, for instance. He had piled or saved his awards, and after a while, he could afford a good laptop. Not only he could concentrate more on his topic of study by his laptop because a big bank off date has been accessible for him, but also he can take some educational projects and make money!
In a nutshell, I have discussed above is it a good idea to offer money on an excellent grade that our school-age children get or not? In my perspective, it seems a good idea, And I have presented some reasons to support my opinion.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 4, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'We' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'parent'
Suggestion: parent
We parents should take care of our children's...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 76, Rule ID: HELP_TO_FIND[1]
Message: This phrase is probably grammatically incorrect. Write 'help them find' instead.
Suggestion: help them find
...children's future career topic and help them to find an appropriate job to make money, such ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, second, so, while, for example, for instance, i feel, such as, as a result, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 13.8261648746 159% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 65.0 43.0788530466 151% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 43.0 52.1666666667 82% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1830.0 1977.66487455 93% => OK
No of words: 397.0 407.700716846 97% => OK
Chars per words: 4.60957178841 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46372701284 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52424619802 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 197.0 212.727598566 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.496221662469 0.524837075471 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 567.9 618.680645161 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 8.0 1.86738351254 428% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 79.5291507131 48.9658058833 162% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.647058824 100.406767564 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.3529411765 20.6045352989 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.0 5.45110844103 128% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.364979039345 0.236089414692 155% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.119418153804 0.076458572812 156% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.122447015482 0.0737576698707 166% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.236563221437 0.150856017488 157% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.116357797537 0.0645574589148 180% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 11.7677419355 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 65.05 58.1214874552 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.75 10.9000537634 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.8 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 86.8835125448 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.002688172 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.