Some parents offer their school age children money for each high grade mark they get in school Do you think this is a good idea Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.
Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Many parents are enormously concerned with the grades their children get in school. Scoring high in exams is quite significant for some parents that they are inclined to offer money to their kids. Though some people believe that this strategy is not appropriate and prevents flourishing non-academic talents of juvenile, I am of the opinion that this notion can be advantageous, and I will elaborate upon my idea in the following paragraphs.
First, offering money to school-age kids may motivate them to score higher on the tests or keep up the excellent progress they had from before. A lot of students are triggered by receiving money for their accomplishments. This financial support helps them realize the importance of good academic performance and scoring high on the tests. Some kids may not consider school to be influential in shaping their future, making them neglect the positive consequences of higher education. On the other hand, parents may use monetary incentives to motivate their misguided kids by showing them a secure way to prosperity by keeping good scores and performing better in academic activities. For example, when I was a high-school student, I used to waste my time playing video-games and engaging in different tasks rather than academic ones. After a while, my parents decided to motivate me by assigning special financial rewards for my tests' performance. As a result, I took my tests more seriously, knowing that even if I am not going to use educational material in my future life, it is still reasonable to make an effort for the money. Consequently, with my parents' help, I was intrigued by my lessons and was engulfed by my passion for studying more.
Second, spending money based on kids' academic performance will allow them to be more financially supported, prohibiting the harmful effects of distraction caused by non-academic actions. Kids who choose to study more and score higher will receive such funds and are prone to more economic opportunities, making them more capable of purchasing the things they desire. Such financial independence will permit them to focus more on their academic performance and inhibit engaging in working activities to obtain money. As an instance, it has been proved by the research conducted by the sociology department of Harvard University that school-aged kids will improve their scores if their parents are ready to support their fincancial desires thoroughly. The distraction that emerges from non-academic activities will exacerbate kids' academic performance in schools, and it is one of the conspicuous ramifications of working for students. Students who work are susceptible to spending not enough time on their courses, and parents may prevent this by offering money to their children. The funds will allow them to focus more on their school rather than their non-school distractions.
To conclude, I am of the opinion that parents may contribute to their juveniles' academic perfomance if they opt to offer money to their kids in exchange for scoring higher grades in school. Exploiting this strategy will reinforce the kids by making them more interested and motivated in their academic achievements and making them more focused. Needless to say, children who have the support of their parents will unquestionably accomplish higher grades and are prone to be more successful in the future.

Votes
Average: 8.7 (2 votes)
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Comments

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, first, if, may, second, so, still, while, for example, as a result, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 64.0 43.0788530466 149% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 77.0 52.1666666667 148% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2839.0 1977.66487455 144% => OK
No of words: 542.0 407.700716846 133% => OK
Chars per words: 5.23800738007 4.8611393121 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.82502781895 4.48103885553 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94725686611 2.67179642975 110% => OK
Unique words: 250.0 212.727598566 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.461254612546 0.524837075471 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 893.7 618.680645161 144% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.5810492214 48.9658058833 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.045454545 100.406767564 129% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.6363636364 20.6045352989 120% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.72727272727 5.45110844103 87% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.285667239136 0.236089414692 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.10777405553 0.076458572812 141% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.071127848943 0.0737576698707 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.216600215283 0.150856017488 144% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0517773870334 0.0645574589148 80% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 11.7677419355 133% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 58.1214874552 81% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 10.1575268817 125% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.41 10.9000537634 123% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.08 8.01818996416 113% => OK
difficult_words: 146.0 86.8835125448 168% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.