Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

There is no doubt that today money plays a significant role in human-being life. Money also is of paramount importance for the school-age children. This brings up a controversial question surrounding the idea of paying money for children: Is it a good idea that parents offer some money for their son or daughter when they get high grade in the school exams? In my perspective, I agree with this stance and I will discuss the reasons behind my viewpoint in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, the first reason that immediately comes to mind is that offering money encourage students. In fact, when a student receive a reward or a prize from his school, he will decide to work a lot in order to get better score at the school exams. The prize allow children to compete with the classmates for the sake of getting higher score than their classmates. This is also the case for paying money for children, if parents do so for their young children, it is likely that young aged children encourage to study well in other school courses in order to gain more money. Therefore, even though offering money as a reward for students will bring financial pressure for fathers, it is a tool for encouragement of school-age children.
The second and important reason that support my standpoint is that money allow students to pay their expenses. Indeed, children like adults have compulsory expenses. They should spend money on transportation bills or they must dedicate some money for purchasing textbooks and other staffs such as pencils. If parents consider to give money as an encouragement for students, it would provide a source of money or even income for them, so that the young people can give their mandatory expenses without depending on their fathers or mothers.
The last but not least, supplying money for children is also beneficial for preparing them for future career, which in the future they should work in the company. Nowadays, companies stimulate their employees in order to perform their duties well and efficiently. These impetus can be possibility to promote or prospect of increasing monthly salary. A young person will grow up and then they will be employed in a firm in the future. If a person, from the early ages, is familiar to the stimulations such as paying extra money for workers who execute their works well, he or she can certainly will look forward to find a way, thereby obtaining more money in his or her job. Hence, another advantage of giving money for school-age children when they receive high mark in their school courses is familiarity with future job condition.
In conclusion according to above-mentioned factors, I contend that there are several advantages in affording money to children. These benefits are allowing them to dedicate money for expenses, as well as encouragement and knowing about future work environment.

Votes
Average: 7.1 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 515, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'studying'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'encourage' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: studying
...kely that young aged children encourage to study well in other school courses in order t...
^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 265, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this impetus' or 'These impetuses'?
Suggestion: This impetus; These impetuses
...form their duties well and efficiently. These impetus can be possibility to promote or prospe...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 612, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[7]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'to finding'.
Suggestion: to finding
... or she can certainly will look forward to find a way, thereby obtaining more money in ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 261, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... knowing about future work environment.
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, if, look, second, so, then, therefore, well, in conclusion, in fact, no doubt, such as, as well as, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 43.0788530466 114% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 52.1666666667 107% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2388.0 1977.66487455 121% => OK
No of words: 481.0 407.700716846 118% => OK
Chars per words: 4.96465696466 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68313059816 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73176601225 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 242.0 212.727598566 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.503118503119 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 730.8 618.680645161 118% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.9297013043 48.9658058833 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.714285714 100.406767564 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.9047619048 20.6045352989 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.57142857143 5.45110844103 121% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 11.8709677419 152% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.449694758154 0.236089414692 190% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.138246869255 0.076458572812 181% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.12935328607 0.0737576698707 175% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.265858581911 0.150856017488 176% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.125673208598 0.0645574589148 195% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 11.7677419355 114% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.78 10.9000537634 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.08 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 86.8835125448 117% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 71.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.