Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Generally, parents have a determining effect in the success of children in their education because they can be the best encourager and supporter. In this regard, some parents believe that offering their children money for each high grade will help them. Others, on the other hand, disagree with this behavior. I personally subscribe to the former one for couple of reasons. In the next paragraphs I will explain my reasons.
Firstly, giving children money for their high grades is a good stimulus to encourage them to try more. Children, especially at the very young ages, might not be aware of the importance of striving in their education, since they tend to enjoy some ephemeral pleasures like spending all of their time going out with their friends or playing video games. Hence, parents can take advantageous of this opportunity and guide them to have an incentive to study hard. In addition, children will appreciate this behavior in the future, when they achieve their educational goals. For instance, when I was in elementary school I did not like to study mathematics. Instead, I used to spend most of my time playing video games. Then my mother told me that if I get a high grade in math, she will give me some money. Since I needed that money in order to buy more video games, I tried hard to study more, and eventually it helped me a lot, because when I enter high school, I was the best in mathematics in our class.
Having discussed the issue form previous point of view, I would rather look at it from another perspective. Encouraging children with money is the best way to teach them that their effort would be appreciated. Were children offered money in exchange of trying, they will learn that if they try hard and have persistence and perseverance, they will be awarded. Thus, they can be successful individuals, because they always are trying to reach the pinnacle of their performance. In other words, this behavior is a great tool to prepare children for future. In addition, according to studies giving children rewards and encouraging them is more effective than punishment. So offering money for high grades will definitely help them improve.
Taking all above mentioned arguments into consideration, it can be concluded that offering children money for they high grades is beneficiary. Not only does it encourage them to do their best, but also it will teach them that every effort will be paid back.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 416, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[5]
Message: The adverb 'always' is usually put after the verb 'are'.
Suggestion: are always
...be successful individuals, because they always are trying to reach the pinnacle of their p...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 582, Rule ID: TO_NON_BASE[1]
Message: The verb after "to" should be in the base form: 'study'.
Suggestion: study
...n for future. In addition, according to studies giving children rewards and encouraging...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, if, look, so, then, thus, for instance, in addition, in other words, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 63.0 43.0788530466 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2024.0 1977.66487455 102% => OK
No of words: 414.0 407.700716846 102% => OK
Chars per words: 4.88888888889 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51076378781 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66181821364 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 212.0 212.727598566 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.512077294686 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 622.8 618.680645161 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.0509958076 48.9658058833 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.0 100.406767564 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.8181818182 20.6045352989 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.45454545455 5.45110844103 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.29538512509 0.236089414692 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0950027195877 0.076458572812 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0753461355895 0.0737576698707 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.200404065978 0.150856017488 133% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0390432964491 0.0645574589148 60% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 11.7677419355 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.08 10.9000537634 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.73 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 86.8835125448 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.