Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

As human beangs, all of us and especially the children love money. Unfortunately, we live in a world that you can do almost everything by money and almost nothing without it. Now, the question is wheather parents shoul offer their school-age children money for each high grade they ger in school. I definitly disagree with the statement and try to ellaborate on my opinion through the following paragraph.

First, when we pay our children regarding their grades, we make them a conditional person. By conditional, I mean that they will study well if they get the money. Now, what happen if we cannot pay them, for example because we get fired and we don't have enough money to pay our children. A conditnal person that has not recieved his previous reward will not try his best to get another high grade. As a result, our bad economic conditon affects adversly on our children's study.

Second, if our children do his best but he cannot get high grades, it is not fair to not giving them money just because of the grades. In my opinion, even if our children didn't do his best, we should give some monet regularly to them, because all children do love by somethings to eat or to play for themselves. If they don't have money to by their favorit stuff, while their classmates afford, it can causes hurmful mental effects on them. For example, when I was a primary school student, I had a classmate that his parents never give him any money. Therefor, he was gelous of other classmates.

In coclusion, parents should not give money to their children whenever they get a high grade because it makes the children a conditional person. This behavior can also have bad effects on their minds especially when they cannot get good grades. I think the best strategy is paying a regular money to our children and give some extra money in cases that they do a very good accomplishment such as rank first in his class.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 244, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...for example because we get fired and we dont have enough money to pay our children. ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 172, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...es. In my opinion, even if our children didnt do his best, we should give some monet ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 321, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
... eat or to play for themselves. If they dont have money to by their favorit stuff, w...
^^^^
Line 5, column 402, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'cause'
Suggestion: cause
..., while their classmates afford, it can causes hurmful mental effects on them. For exa...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 282, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[3]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'regular money'.
Suggestion: regular money
...es. I think the best strategy is paying a regular money to our children and give some extra mon...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, regarding, second, so, well, while, for example, i mean, i think, such as, as a result, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 5.0 15.1003584229 33% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 61.0 43.0788530466 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 31.0 52.1666666667 59% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1573.0 1977.66487455 80% => OK
No of words: 339.0 407.700716846 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.6401179941 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.29091512845 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.50605899893 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 172.0 212.727598566 81% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.507374631268 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 477.9 618.680645161 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 3.51792114695 256% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 34.4631592075 48.9658058833 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.5294117647 100.406767564 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.9411764706 20.6045352989 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.23529411765 5.45110844103 133% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 11.8709677419 42% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.403994696765 0.236089414692 171% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.131236525092 0.076458572812 172% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.119419662103 0.0737576698707 162% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.271152809477 0.150856017488 180% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0889108018416 0.0645574589148 138% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.4 11.7677419355 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 58.1214874552 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 10.1575268817 82% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.63 10.9000537634 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.28 8.01818996416 91% => OK
difficult_words: 58.0 86.8835125448 67% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.