Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
It is widely accepted that society today has become more and more competitive. To survive in this society, pupils today under great pressure. In school, students have to compete with their classmates so as to get high grades. Furthermore, parents should encourage their children to give them gifts or money when they get a great mark in the class. I would suggest two reasons based on my general facts in addition to my personal experiences to support the argument.
The first aspect to point out is that there has been a positive correlation between trying to encourage the children and being successful. Admittedly, many benefits quickly stem from parents when to encourage their children when to offer their some money or gifts. I would like to mention noteworthy research conducted by CSR institute in India. The discovered results suggest that Seventy-Five Percent of the pupils indulge themselves in the study to get high scores because their parents promised them gifts if they get a high mark at school. Moreover, money is a great teacher to build character.
Secondly, encourage parents to their children has a close tie-in motivation and creativity. I still affirm the same idea because there is no guarantee that encouraged has a great importance on the quality of one's life to be a success in the future. My own experience is a compelling example of this. when I was 7 years old, my father paid me some money for my full score in my report card. The next years, I tried harder to get more money and I gradually become interested in studying my lessons and gaining knowledge. And that is how I got a hint from money, found out how important education is in the future life and in facing better job opportunities, and continued my education.
To draw a conclusion, taking what I have mentioned above, I strongly believe that parents who offer to their children the money contribute to widening student horizon, which will influence profoundly on their future because they realize the importance of money and education.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 201, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...s have to compete with their classmates so as to get high grades. Furthermore, parents s...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 209, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...as a great importance on the quality of ones life to be a success in the future. My ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 301, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: When
...rience is a compelling example of this. when I was 7 years old, my father paid me so...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, still, as to, in addition
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 43.0788530466 95% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 52.1666666667 92% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1698.0 1977.66487455 86% => OK
No of words: 344.0 407.700716846 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.93604651163 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.30665032142 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73638401144 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 212.727598566 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.552325581395 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 531.0 618.680645161 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.7634028143 48.9658058833 114% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.8823529412 100.406767564 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.2352941176 20.6045352989 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.05882352941 5.45110844103 93% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.300182311014 0.236089414692 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0854463889234 0.076458572812 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0806808340927 0.0737576698707 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.188153953599 0.150856017488 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0569335125363 0.0645574589148 88% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 11.7677419355 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.37 10.9000537634 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.39 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 86.8835125448 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.