Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

In my opinion, giving money in the form of the gift for children’s good performance in school is a perfect idea. Here you can see my reasons about this claim.
Firstly, parents teach them if they study well, they will earn money. One of the parents’ concern about their children is their future job. They know if their children have an appropriate education, they will find a favorite job by. So, they try to help them to understand the importance of money and education at the same time by several methods. One of the best styles is giving money for their high mark. Actually, children recognize this fact when they utilize most of their time for learning, they will earn more money.
Second, parents will have responsible children. One of the parents’ most important wishes is having a child who knows how to manage their lives in a correct way. So, some parents disagree to make a very comfortable life for their children because this manner makes them lazy and unresponsive. So, some of them want from their children to work in the summer to gather money for their requirements, and the others, like to our topic, try to show them if they act like responsible persons who know their duty in this age is studying well they can receive money, not by having enjoyable activities with their friends. This manner conducts them to pay attention to their lives and be accountable for their lives.
Finally, rewarding money to the children gives them the sense of authority, and adult. Todays, children’s request completely changes. They always want money from their parents to buy several things such as computer, bicycle, play station, and the others, but they have to buy their favorite thing according to their parents’ idea that sometimes unpleasant for them. In fact, when parents donate money to them, let them purchase what they want. Also, show them this fact, if they act like adult persons who do their assignment on time, parents will behave with them like adult people.
In conclusion, the advantages of this style of donating overwhelm to its disadvantages that prove my claim is true. In fact, parents with this method provide a suitable situation for their children to be responsible, understand the importance of money and studying, and feel have this chance to buy what they want.

Votes
Average: 8.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 150, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a correct way" with adverb for "correct"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ild who knows how to manage their lives in a correct way. So, some parents disagree to make a ve...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 579, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ll they can receive money, not by having enjoyable activities with their friends....
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, finally, first, firstly, if, second, so, well, in conclusion, in fact, such as, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => OK
Pronoun: 61.0 43.0788530466 142% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1935.0 1977.66487455 98% => OK
No of words: 393.0 407.700716846 96% => OK
Chars per words: 4.92366412214 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45244063426 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6208750216 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 212.727598566 91% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.493638676845 0.524837075471 94% => OK
syllable_count: 576.9 618.680645161 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Interrogative: 1.0 0.994623655914 101% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 66.5704701801 48.9658058833 136% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.75 100.406767564 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.65 20.6045352989 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.7 5.45110844103 105% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.369342839908 0.236089414692 156% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.127090005395 0.076458572812 166% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0613494121439 0.0737576698707 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.222944961178 0.150856017488 148% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0348015776767 0.0645574589148 54% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 11.7677419355 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.26 10.9000537634 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.55 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 86.8835125448 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 83 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.