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Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay topics: Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Majid Esh's picture

In today's world education of children in school and the encouragement of them to study as well as possible are of paramount importance. A controversial question which is often raised regarding this issue is whether the act of offering the school-age children money for each high grade they get in school is proper behavior or not. Some people possess the conviction that this method of encouragement is appropriate, whereas others hold exactly the opposite and allege that this demeanor can have a detrimental effect on the future of children. I personally contend that this kind of acclaim is improper. To substantiate my point of view, the following paragraphs represent a cursory glance at the most outstanding reasons.

The first reason coming to mind to elucidate my standpoint is concerned with this issue that parents must say their children what the goal of studying is. They have to depict the future of their children and account for them the purposes of going to school. In my country we have a proverb which says "Education is like a sole which passes from one generation to subsequent generation". I think, if children be aware of the advantages of education, he or she would study the lessons more efficiently and voraciously. Hence, they would be prosperous.

The last but not least reason by which the claim is justified is that although the encouragement of children is compulsory, the type of expressing of this is absolutely important. In my opinion, the best way for inspiring children to study well, is to allude the direct effect of lessons which they study today on the jobs which they have in the future. In fact, parents, as guides of their children, should draw an analogy between their future job and the quality of their grades in school. In addition, parents can do a large number of works to encourage their children such as making a trip, going to museum, mountain climbing, going to stadium in order to seeing football match, and so on. By such approaches, not only they can heighten their children spirit, but also the children can learn many things.

In brief, contemplating all the aforementioned reasons, one soon realizes that the encouragement of pupils to study well is a key matter and play a pivotal role in the education of them but parent should carefully think about the best way of encouragement.

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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 28, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'mind elucidating'.
Suggestion: mind elucidating
... reasons. The first reason coming to mind to elucidate my standpoint is concerned with this is...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 14, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[3]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'not the least'.
Suggestion: not the least
...y would be prosperous. The last but not least reason by which the claim is justified ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 493, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... the quality of their grades in school. In addition, parents can do a large number...
^^
Line 5, column 521, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
... in school. In addition, parents can do a large number of works to encourage their children such ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...k about the best way of encouragement.
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, if, regarding, so, well, whereas, i think, in addition, in brief, in fact, kind of, such as, as well as, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 43.0788530466 86% => OK
Preposition: 62.0 52.1666666667 119% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 8.0752688172 186% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1968.0 1977.66487455 100% => OK
No of words: 397.0 407.700716846 97% => OK
Chars per words: 4.95717884131 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46372701284 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.91796180157 2.67179642975 109% => OK
Unique words: 213.0 212.727598566 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.536523929471 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 594.9 618.680645161 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.0740623502 48.9658058833 112% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.0 100.406767564 123% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.8125 20.6045352989 120% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.9375 5.45110844103 164% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.288059327191 0.236089414692 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0921437154147 0.076458572812 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0833262730878 0.0737576698707 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.162361737 0.150856017488 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0836453528174 0.0645574589148 130% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 11.7677419355 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 58.1214874552 96% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.78 10.9000537634 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.37 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 86.8835125448 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

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