Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Other believe that it is best to use that time doing things together that are related to schoolwork, which of the two approaches do you prefer?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In today's world parents are so busy that they cannot spend enough time on communication with their children. This phenomenon can have a negative effect on child and parents have to manage their tasks in a way that their children do not harm. A controversial question which is often raised regarding this issue is whether the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports or to use this doing things together that are related to schoolwork. Some people possess the conviction that the former is more crucial, whereas others hold exactly the opposite and allege that the latter is more fruitful. I personally contend that playing games or sports with child would have more positive effects on the breeding and future prosperity of children in all aspects. To substantiate my point of view, the following paragraphs represent a cursory glance at the most outstanding reasons.
The first reason coming to mind to substantiate my standpoint is concerned with this issue that the treatment of children is a multi-faceted phenomenon. Although the education of child plays a key role in their occupational life in the future, we should not forget that there are other aspects that are as important as school education. In my opinion, parents should delegate large part of the schoolworks to teachers and pay more attention to other aspects of their treatment. The noteworthy statistics, revealed by a recent social research conducted in our country, show that that children who are taught different and various skills are more prosperous than child who receive merely school education.
The second rationale behind this opinion is rooted in the fact that in playing sports and games parents can detect those skills and talents which are not concerned sufficiently yet. By way of illustration, if the children have a gold talent in a special sport, parents could detect that and help their children to flourish his talent in that context. It is noteworthy to consider manifold number of football stars are detected in their childhood and fostered by professional experts. Leonel Messi can be a good example for in this context.
In brief, contemplating all the aforementioned reasons, one soon realizes that parents have to pay attention to all aspects of their child, like sports and arts, and help them to flourish their abilities.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 28, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'mind substantiating'.
Suggestion: mind substantiating
... reasons. The first reason coming to mind to substantiate my standpoint is concerned with this is...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, if, regarding, second, so, whereas, in brief, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 11.0286738351 181% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 43.0788530466 97% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1964.0 1977.66487455 99% => OK
No of words: 387.0 407.700716846 95% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.07493540052 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.43534841618 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76112670551 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 204.0 212.727598566 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.527131782946 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 585.0 618.680645161 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 9.59856630824 42% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 42.4801129942 48.9658058833 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.933333333 100.406767564 130% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.8 20.6045352989 125% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.4 5.45110844103 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.304698684563 0.236089414692 129% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0927754830537 0.076458572812 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0980532769723 0.0737576698707 133% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.161993158839 0.150856017488 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.144410772588 0.0645574589148 224% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.3 11.7677419355 130% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 58.1214874552 94% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.42 10.9000537634 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.67 8.01818996416 108% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 86.8835125448 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 81.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.