some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. do you think this is a good idea?

Essay topics:

some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. do you think this is a good idea?

This is evident that the parents are concerned about their children' performance at school and they always try to find good methods to motivate their children to study harder. Although some people argue that parents should not give money as a reward to their children for getting a good mark, others assume that it can be an influential method. From my perspective, I agree with the latter group and I think the children can gain lots of benefits from receiving money from their parents and each of my reasons are elaborated on in the following paragraphs.
Firstly, receiving money as a reward can stimulate the children and it can help them to become more passionate about school and keep their interest. My friend childhood memorable experience is a compelling example of this. When she was in fourth grade, she got bad marks and was completely reluctant to go to school. She tried to convince her parents to let her leave school. Her parents found it difficult to handle this problem. Finally, they set a goal for her and considered a monetary reward for it. So this suggestion had a profound effect on her and it made her interest in school. So her productivity was raised and she achieved prosperity. So the monetary rewards can improve the children's performance at school.
Secondly, the children begin to learn how to manage their own money at the early stages of their life. They are given a chance to improve their financial skills which is very useful for their future. For instance, when I was a child, my parents gave me money because of my good performance at school. Therefore, I saved my money and bought a video game which was my determined goal. When I look at my video game these days, I remember those unforgettable days. So receiving money from parents as a reward can make better the children's financial ability.
In conclusion, although some people oppose setting tangible rewards such as money for children, I have a positive idea about it and I think its advantages outweigh the disadvantages. It not only is a good stimulus but also teaches children how to manage their own money.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 649, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...was raised and she achieved prosperity. So the monetary rewards can improve the ch...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, if, look, second, secondly, so, therefore, for instance, i think, in conclusion, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 59.0 43.0788530466 137% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 38.0 52.1666666667 73% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1746.0 1977.66487455 88% => OK
No of words: 365.0 407.700716846 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.78356164384 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.37092360658 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6577686664 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 183.0 212.727598566 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.501369863014 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 542.7 618.680645161 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.9380406782 48.9658058833 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.3 100.406767564 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.25 20.6045352989 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.2 5.45110844103 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.375559712363 0.236089414692 159% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.112553688303 0.076458572812 147% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0666069607754 0.0737576698707 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.239662162674 0.150856017488 159% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0625623241277 0.0645574589148 97% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 11.7677419355 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.44 10.9000537634 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.51 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 86.8835125448 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.002688172 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.