some parents offer their school-aged children money for each high grade they get in school, do you thinkit is a good idea?

Essay topics:

some parents offer their school-aged children money for each high grade they get in school, do you thinkit is a good idea?

In modern era, money plays a prominent role in every individual's life and it is important for people even in early age. Some people believes its a good idea to offer our school-age children money for high scores they get in schools and some people think opposite. I personally believes its a good idea to give children money as a prize for their high grades. In the following paragraphs I will elaborate on my perspective.

First of all, it is significant to be mentioned that we can motivate our children to practice hard in order to get high score because of a valuable price.Money gives them encouragement to persist. the result of a research conducted in my country underscore the fact that students with motivation performed better in schools and giving prize will expand the possibility of getting high scores in any field of education.

Another reason which deserves some attention is that, money as a prize would creates a competition environment among children. The more grade they receive, the more money they get. For instance, when I was a school student, my parents suggest me and my older brother money for our final grade. This offer gives us a chance to study more efficiently. I remember I studied hard specially whenever my brother was playing video games, I was studying in order to get better score. This approach brought a lot of benefit for me since that year not only I got high scores, but also I learned to be a competetive person.

From what has been discussed above, we may safely reach the conclusion that even though some people believe it is not a good idea to give money to little children as a prize, it would be beneficial and have merits since it would motivate them and also teach them to compete in an appropriate way with their peers.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 54, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'individuals'' or 'individual's'?
Suggestion: individuals'; individual's
..., money plays a prominent role in every individuals life and it is important for people eve...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 142, Rule ID: IT_IS[17]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
...even in early age. Some people believes its a good idea to offer our school-age chi...
^^^
Line 1, column 278, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[1]
Message: The pronoun 'I' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'believe'
Suggestion: believe
...ome people think opposite. I personally believes its a good idea to give children money ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 287, Rule ID: IT_IS[17]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
...e think opposite. I personally believes its a good idea to give children money as a...
^^^
Line 3, column 155, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Money
... high score because of a valuable price.Money gives them encouragement to persist. th...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 198, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...ey gives them encouragement to persist. the result of a research conducted in my co...
^^^
Line 5, column 78, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'create'
Suggestion: create
...tention is that, money as a prize would creates a competition environment among childre...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 275, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an appropriate way" with adverb for "appropriate"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ate them and also teach them to compete in an appropriate way with their peers.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, so, for instance, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 43.0 43.0788530466 100% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 52.1666666667 73% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1466.0 1977.66487455 74% => OK
No of words: 312.0 407.700716846 77% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.69871794872 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.20279927342 4.48103885553 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6463550131 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 171.0 212.727598566 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.548076923077 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 473.4 618.680645161 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 20.6003584229 63% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 70.0664097492 48.9658058833 143% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.769230769 100.406767564 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.0 20.6045352989 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.38461538462 5.45110844103 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.383308892445 0.236089414692 162% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.13405351327 0.076458572812 175% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.124226366026 0.0737576698707 168% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.224448505822 0.150856017488 149% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.126026145446 0.0645574589148 195% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 11.7677419355 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 58.1214874552 96% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.28 10.9000537634 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.07 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 64.0 86.8835125448 74% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.