Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Other believe that it is best to use that time doing things together that are related to schoolwork, which of the two approaches do you prefer?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
When it comes to the question whether spending time on studying is better or playing games or sports, everyone will have their own answer given their individual characteristics, interests and needs. From my perspective, given same amount of spending time with parents or so such activities, I deem it would be much better to have fun. I will detail my reasoning as follows.
First of all, I strongly believe that everybody should have social communications. While I cannot be with my parents, I should spend time with my friends and try to strengthen my relationship with different people. Generally, by paling games or doing sports with others, we can establish relationships with people who may become one of our intimate friends which can help us when we are in trouble. Also, the life stories of successful people like Steve Jobs and Bill Gates indicate me that they wouldn't reach their goal if they didn't have any friend. So, all of us should spend time to enhance our social communications.
Second, playing games and doing sports have positive impact on our psychological well-being and physical health. For instance, playing soccer not only helps us to set our mind free from day life stress, but also improves our body's health. When we do sports, our metabolism rate increases, consequently, harmful materials go out from our body through sweating. Also, playing games cause improvement in our mental ability which has direct relationships with intelligence.
Third, our daily schedule has mostly assigned to doing homework and assignments. If we do not spend time to interact with parents or friends, our body may face with serious problems like obesity, depression and we may become socially vulnerable. I saw many child that spend all of their time in their rooms for studying or doing homework. Unfortunately, most of them have serious problem in establishing relationship with others. They are full of knowledge but they do not have a person as a friend to share what they have learned with them. In summary, in their classmates or roommates view, they are weird. Furthermore, when we spend time with our parents or friends, we usually have fun, so we should not substitute fun with strict homework.
In summary, despite the fact that children should spend all of their time on studying rather than having fun, even if their parents do not have enough time to be with them, I believe that children should assign time to develop other skills like social interaction. If we want to our children be successful, we should aware that society is place for them in order to apply what they have learned from books in a real setting.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 18, Rule ID: WHETHER
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "the question"?
When it comes to the question whether spending time on studying is better or ...
Line 3, column 497, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
...bs and Bill Gates indicate me that they wouldnt reach their goal if they didnt have any...
Line 3, column 530, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
...t they wouldnt reach their goal if they didnt have any friend. So, all of us should s...
Line 7, column 253, Rule ID: MANY_NN
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun child seems to be countable; consider using: 'many children'.
Suggestion: many children
...e may become socially vulnerable. I saw many child that spend all of their time in their r...
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, furthermore, if, may, second, so, then, third, well, while, for instance, in summary, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 65.0 43.0788530466 151% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 58.0 52.1666666667 111% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2207.0 1977.66487455 112% => OK
No of words: 445.0 407.700716846 109% => OK
Chars per words: 4.9595505618 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.59293186426 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73775198817 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 226.0 212.727598566 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.507865168539 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 653.4 618.680645161 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Interrogative: 3.0 0.994623655914 302% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.0814755674 48.9658058833 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.095238095 100.406767564 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.1904761905 20.6045352989 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.19047619048 5.45110844103 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.355056422912 0.236089414692 150% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.115207391661 0.076458572812 151% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.084706544708 0.0737576698707 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.224245896364 0.150856017488 149% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0665076039174 0.0645574589148 103% => OK
automated_readability_index: 12.5 11.7677419355 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 58.1214874552 101% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.49 10.9000537634 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.73 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 86.8835125448 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.