Some people think that we should not limit the time students (6-12-year-old) spend on technology products. Others think that because technology products are harmful, they should be limited to less than one hour. Which do you prefer, why?
In the recent era, the prevalence and prosperity of technology is a challenge for every one particularly for children. There are plenty of technological device available for children such as cell phone, labtop, tablet, game consol, TV and so on. Currently, The parents always are concerned about the providing this technological device for their children that these are useful for them or not. Admiitedly, there are advantages and disadvantages to applying these devices for children. In my viewpoint, the disadvantages is overwhelming. I will give my explanation regarding my perspective in the following paragraphs.
First and foremost, One of the most precious and invaluable subjects is time that can not reciprocate with everything. Once said, “The time is more valuable than gold.” In The childhood that never repeat in our life, chid can learn a lot of concepts, play with different toys and entertainment. They have an opportunity to construct their mind with some physical practice by themselves or other peers to learn different fundamental roles with fewer side effects. To put it more detail, children will be trained by pretending to be a mother, doctor, teacher in the shape of some game. Also, they release their tension and stress and fresh in physical playing. On the other hand, perhaps playing with a technological device such as cell phone, laptop may need less space and staff, vociferous. These devices preoccupied children from education, surrounding and others. I can give an example to illuminate my reason. My young brother is nearly 14 years old and recently, We have bought a cell for him. He almost spends of their extra time playing with his cell phone. Sometimes he deepens in the game and ignores his surrounding. If a dangerous event happened around him, he maybe would be informed later. He does not have the concentration and attention as a need to his education. Sometimes I think he is addicted to the cell phone.
Another noteworthy point in authenticating my perspective is that health attitude. I firmly believe that the new technological device have some harmful influence on health such as psychosocial, bilingual and physical movement. The specialist reported some research results that the children using most of their time are more likely to have some trouble in terms of vigorous in their muscles and vision. Since they do not have sufficient movement to burn metabolism, strength their muscle and lead to a weaker body. Also, staring to a tiny monitor or screen for hours even without eyes’ blink maybe cause intense exhausting eye and other side effect. in addition, It distracted the children from the real-world to some fiction and afrtificail one. Moreover, some of the game’s content is sensitive, violent that it not suitable for them. Some of the sychitritist claimed that new offspring exposed to a lot of improper content to their spirit in the technological device that have some scycological disorder in long time without parent’s monitoring.
To review and draw a comprehensive conclusion, I strongly suggest that parents and others be so careful and considerate for using the technological device for this range age of children. The put away this has more advantage in terms of spiritual and medical health, a distraction from education.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 270, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[4]
Message: The adverb 'always' is usually put after the verb 'are'.
Suggestion: are always
...l, TV and so on. Currently, The parents always are concerned about the providing this tech...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 651, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: In
...e exhausting eye and other side effect. in addition, It distracted the children fr...
^^
Line 4, column 758, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
... fiction and afrtificail one. Moreover, some of the game’s content is sensitive, violent th...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 838, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: Some
... violent that it not suitable for them. Some of the sychitritist claimed that new offspring...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, if, may, moreover, regarding, so, then, i think, in addition, such as, in my view, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 25.0 13.8261648746 181% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 56.0 43.0788530466 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 64.0 52.1666666667 123% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.0752688172 173% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2783.0 1977.66487455 141% => OK
No of words: 536.0 407.700716846 131% => OK
Chars per words: 5.1921641791 4.8611393121 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.81161862636 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9794764437 2.67179642975 112% => OK
Unique words: 280.0 212.727598566 132% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.522388059701 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 867.6 618.680645161 140% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 30.0 20.6003584229 146% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 43.38977094 48.9658058833 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.7666666667 100.406767564 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.8666666667 20.6045352989 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.76666666667 5.45110844103 69% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 3.85842293907 285% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.147418520722 0.236089414692 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0367029588786 0.076458572812 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0287760419197 0.0737576698707 39% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0852562189398 0.150856017488 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.033549933289 0.0645574589148 52% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 11.7677419355 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 58.1214874552 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.53 10.9000537634 115% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.43 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 134.0 86.8835125448 154% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 88.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 26.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.