Some people think that we should not limit the time students (6-12 years old) spend on technology products. Others think that because technology products are harmful, they should be limited to less than one hour. Which do you prefer, why?
In our sophisticated era, there is no cast of doubt in the importance of technology. However, it plays pivotal role in human life, it has some side effects. It is obvious that students, around 6 to 12, are the most risky groups in contact with these harmful effects. That is why some people tend to restrict the time of children’s utilization technology products. From my point of view, it is the best way that parents can control this effects in order to reach healthier generation. In the following paragraphs, the most outstanding reasons for my opinion will be explained.
The first remarkable point to substantiate my stand point is that the main requirements for the students’ growing are physical activities, especially in that old. In fact, if the students spent too much time on technology products, like computer games or internet, their activities will be reduced, and as a result, they will suffer from some disease in the future like, overweight or sight problems. To brining into the more vivid picture, my cousin is the best example. When she was ten years old, her mother has bought her Play Station. She used to play every day more than three hour. On the other hand, she lost her eager for playing in the yard with her friends and also her temptation for basketball which is her favorite sport. After a while, a skinny beautiful girl is returned into a chubby girl with many acnes. Although, her mother always forced her to be on diet, she could not successful. Unfortunately, she shamed about her appearance and lose her self-confidence. All of these forced her to reduce her social activities drastically. Had her mother controlled her playing time, she would not encounter all of these difficulties.
Another reason which is worthy to mention here is that the scientists are proved that the students how have spent more than hour on technological equipment, like Computer or video games, have enormous problem in their social skills. Their function in communication is also weakened by aggressive manner. Because, students cannot have physical interaction or eye-contact with each other. Thus, they cannot feel their friends’ emotions and even they will not able to recognize their friends’ behavior as a good or bad manner if they cutoff themselves from their friends. Our worldwide experience during COVID_19 Pandemic is a compelling example of what I mean. In this time, the students should be stay at home and participate in their classes by online programs. They spend too much time on making contact with their friends by internet without seeing them physically. In contrast, their parents do not able to restrict them by controlling the time because, these are the only way that their child can communicate with others out of family member. Consequently, most of the same age student have mental problem and their behavior become more aggressive. For example, my friend how has a eleven years old boy is always nagging about his son’s annoying behaviors during the COVID quarantine.
Taking all the aforementioned into account, one can conclude that although the technology facilitate our life, its side effects on students cause miserable health disasters. To prevent this, controlling the time of student’s plays not only brings the children physical health, but also improves their mental health.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 583, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'hour' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'hours'.
Suggestion: hours
... used to play every day more than three hour. On the other hand, she lost her eager ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 697, Rule ID: SHOULD_BE_DO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'staid', 'stayed'?
Suggestion: staid; stayed
...n. In this time, the students should be stay at home and participate in their classe...
^^^^
Line 3, column 1185, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ressive. For example, my friend how has a eleven years old boy is always nagging ...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, however, if, so, thus, while, for example, i mean, in contrast, in fact, as a result, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 15.1003584229 146% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 71.0 43.0788530466 165% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 70.0 52.1666666667 134% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2798.0 1977.66487455 141% => OK
No of words: 549.0 407.700716846 135% => OK
Chars per words: 5.09653916211 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.84053189512 4.48103885553 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78351642285 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 299.0 212.727598566 141% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.544626593807 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 837.0 618.680645161 135% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 23.0 9.59856630824 240% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 13.0 4.94265232975 263% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 20.6003584229 141% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.6046195012 48.9658058833 99% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.4827586207 100.406767564 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.9310344828 20.6045352989 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.65517241379 5.45110844103 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 3.85842293907 285% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.156981618947 0.236089414692 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0404279240113 0.076458572812 53% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0411201725282 0.0737576698707 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0926119335755 0.150856017488 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0210754634729 0.0645574589148 33% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 11.7677419355 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.3 10.9000537634 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.58 8.01818996416 107% => OK
difficult_words: 141.0 86.8835125448 162% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 85.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.