Some young people are free in the evenings or have days off at school, which way can bring them the most benefit?
1、to accumulate work experience by a part-time job or volunteering in a community
2、learning to play a sport
3、learning to play a musical instrument
As time passes and people become more developed, people become more aware of the importance of their time, and they prefer to utilize their time in an efficacious way. In such a sophisticated world, where we are living, there are various kinds of entertainments and recreations in every society, and people always make a point of creating an excellent time according to their circumstances. Young people can spent their free times in various ways such as learning how to play a musical instrument, learning to play a sport, and working in a company as part-time job or volunteering in a community. Although all of these examples have their own advantageous, having a part time-job or volunteering in a community can provide more benefit for young people during their free time. In what follows, two elaborate reasons vindicate my standpoints.
The first reason regarding this issue is that one of the important social issues in today's world is the rate of unemployment. When young people are involved with the work issues in the younger age, they not only can save some money for their future and become more independence in terms of financially, but also they could enhance their experience regarding the workplaces. For example, they become more familiar with the divers field of studies and work's conditions as well as atmosphere of workplaces. Young people can make a proper decision when they want to choose their field of study or their career in the future. Moreover, they can put these experience in their resume which can help them when they want to find a job in the future. As a result, working in a corporation or volunteering in a community can pave the way for successful of young people in course of their live.
The second reason is that, young children can improve their social skills when they work by a part-time job or volunteering in a community. Young people could enhance their social skills by participation in sport and musical classes. However, it is true that by working in the cooperating, people could acquire more practical social skills. They learn how to corporate in a community, how to speak in front of large audience, how to make a friend, how to behave properly in work places, how to compete, how to manage the time, and how to utilize their knowledge in work places, to name but a few. As a consequence, all of them can make a significant contribution to development of personality and mentality among young people.
All in all, young people could utilize their free time in an excellent way, and they could convert all of these free times and opportunities to success. They can do many activities in their free times, and peruse their interest. By working in a company or working volunteer in a community, they can attain many things which are very useful in the course of their life. They could learn how make a great decision concerning their future career, and they practice their social skills in the work places or communities which are very essential in every individual's life.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 146, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an efficacious way" with adverb for "efficacious"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
..., and they prefer to utilize their time in an efficacious way. In such a sophisticated world, where w...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 422, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'divers'' or 'diver's'?
Suggestion: divers'; diver's
...ple, they become more familiar with the divers field of studies and works conditions a...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 56, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an excellent way" with adverb for "excellent"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ng people could utilize their free time in an excellent way, and they could convert all of these fr...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 551, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'individuals'' or 'individual's'?
Suggestion: individuals'; individual's
...ities which are very essential in every individuals life.
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, moreover, regarding, second, so, well, for example, such as, as a result, as well as, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 9.8082437276 173% => OK
Conjunction : 23.0 13.8261648746 166% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 47.0 43.0788530466 109% => OK
Preposition: 76.0 52.1666666667 146% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.0752688172 173% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2514.0 1977.66487455 127% => OK
No of words: 517.0 407.700716846 127% => OK
Chars per words: 4.86266924565 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.76839952204 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77607541946 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 218.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.42166344294 0.524837075471 80% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 794.7 618.680645161 128% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 8.0 1.86738351254 428% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 52.1272241732 48.9658058833 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 125.7 100.406767564 125% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.85 20.6045352989 125% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.35 5.45110844103 116% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.267525690258 0.236089414692 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.103050998327 0.076458572812 135% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0961056243433 0.0737576698707 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.18619838187 0.150856017488 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0698562369908 0.0645574589148 108% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 11.7677419355 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 58.1214874552 94% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.2 10.9000537634 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.96 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 86.8835125448 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 10.002688172 190% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.