Children rely too much on technology, like computers, smartphones, video games for fun and entertainment. Playing simpler toys or playing outside with friends would be better for children’s development.
It goes without saying that, entertainment has played a pivotal role in development of children's personality and mentality. Moreover, as time passes and people become more developed, they become more aware of the importance of playing in children's lives. With the advent of technology, the type of children's play has changed, they prefer to play with computer's games or smartphone's games. The controversial question which arises here is whether playing outside or playing toys has a constructive impact on development of children. I personally content that children who play with toys or play outside with their friends have developed personality and mentality. In what follows, two elaborated reasons will vindicate my standpoints.
The first vital point to bear in mind is that computer and smartphone games are usually additive, so they have a destructive effect on development of children's mentality and personality. When children play with toys, they learn how to be more creative, how to solve problems and how to utilize these toys, so it helps them to be innovative in the course of their lives. For example, I remember when I was five years old, my parents bought me a puzzle. I put the pieces of the puzzle in its place to complete the puzzle. I made a point of completing the puzzle by thinking and using my imagination. It made a significant contribution to the development of my imagination.
The second noteworthy point is that children spent a profuse amount of time playing with these additive devices without noticing that they lose their precious time. This situation makes children lazy, and it is harmful to children in terms of physically. It sometimes creates irreparable diseases. For example diabetes, heart disease, blood pressure and so forth. In contrast, by playing outside with their friends, they do more active actions which help them to be healthy in terms of physically. For instance, children can play volleyball, basketball, and football which have more physical movements. Moreover, computer games prevent children to be more socialize. Because children play usually with these games solitary. On the other hand, when children play outside with their friends, they could learn an invaluable lesson from them. For example, they learn how to compete, how to be a useful person in a team, how to make a friend, how to behave with diverse people, and how to behave in a group team. As a result, playing outside with friends could have an efficacious impact on the formation of children's personality and mentality.
To bring everything in conclusion, nowadays, the role of technology is undeniable, and children spend a lot of their time with high technology devices. Because playing with these devices is additive, they could have a negative impact on their development. On the other hand, playing with toys could help children to have a creative mind, and playing outside with a friend could improve other social skills of children.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 668, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... prevent children to be more socialize. Because children play usually with these games ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 685, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[9]
Message: The adverb 'usually' is usually put before the verb 'play'.
Suggestion: usually play
... to be more socialize. Because children play usually with these games solitary. On the other...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 420, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...mprove other social skills of children.
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, moreover, second, so, for example, for instance, in conclusion, in contrast, as a result, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 43.0788530466 104% => OK
Preposition: 80.0 52.1666666667 153% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.0752688172 173% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2493.0 1977.66487455 126% => OK
No of words: 484.0 407.700716846 119% => OK
Chars per words: 5.15082644628 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69041575982 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84583494816 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 218.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.45041322314 0.524837075471 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 764.1 618.680645161 124% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 16.0 9.59856630824 167% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.1212847461 48.9658058833 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.8846153846 100.406767564 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.6153846154 20.6045352989 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.73076923077 5.45110844103 87% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 11.8709677419 152% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.357974574074 0.236089414692 152% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.114854816957 0.076458572812 150% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0838962760211 0.0737576698707 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.243739100884 0.150856017488 162% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.081203059653 0.0645574589148 126% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 11.7677419355 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.59 10.9000537634 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.95 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 86.8835125448 121% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 10.002688172 125% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.