televisons and movies young people's behaviors
Mass media, like movies and televisions, can be very influential to massive population as it widely spreads a wide variety of information to all kinds of people every single day. There is no doubt that it has been affecting young people’s behaviors. Take two main factors into consideration, I certainly agree that it causes more negative than proactive effects.
To start with, daily life activities of recreation altered in an unhealthy way by the occurrence of movies and televisions. Before we have these technologies, young people were more likely to go out playing with friends and having different activities, such as hiking, play sports or games. I remember when I was a little girl, my family and I usually sleep very early as well. I never felt lacking of sleep. However, after my father bought the first television, which became my favorite playmate immediately, I couldn’t wait for every evening when I could watch all kinds of interesting programs, actually most of them were just soap operas. I couldn't move to do anything else but got glued with the screen every night. Consequently, I started to sleep less and less and my eye vision started to get worse and worse too.
Secondly, more and more premature phenomenon and crimes result from too much exposure to movies and televisions. What we have been watching on screens are not always what really fit us ages and situations. While this powerful media could present all kinds of people and events in front of all people no matter the audience has good judgement about it or not, because media always would try all the means to increase the audience rating. Those roles and events on the screens, especially violent acts or bad habits, such as, smoking, getting hair colored, even crimes, like get addicted to drugs, killing people. These are just few examples, but many young people do imitate those behaviors in the real world. No wonder we have been witnessing more premature students in school, more conflicts and crimes in society.
Admittedly, there are many good aspects we can be truly benefit from, such as, different cultures, knowledge and important news. We can be feel really relaxed and get into these entertainments. But comparing to the negative effects which widely happened to almost every person in varying degrees, I totally agree with this statement that it’s harmful effects outweigh the beneficial ones.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 60, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an unhealthy way" with adverb for "unhealthy"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...y life activities of recreation altered in an unhealthy way by the occurrence of movies and televis...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 646, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...y most of them were just soap operas. I couldnt move to do anything else but got glued ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 374, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[10]
Message: The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'would' and 'try'.
Suggestion: would always try
...udgement about it or not, because media always would try all the means to increase the audience ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 339, Rule ID: ITS_JJ_NNSNN[27]
Message: Did you mean 'its harmful effects'?
Suggestion: its harmful effects
... totally agree with this statement that it’s harmful effects outweigh the beneficial ones.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, consequently, first, however, if, really, second, secondly, so, well, while, in fact, no doubt, such as, to start with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 13.8261648746 159% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 36.0 43.0788530466 84% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 52.1666666667 82% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2011.0 1977.66487455 102% => OK
No of words: 399.0 407.700716846 98% => OK
Chars per words: 5.04010025063 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46933824581 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64148035835 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 246.0 212.727598566 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.616541353383 0.524837075471 117% => OK
syllable_count: 622.8 618.680645161 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.1093599241 48.9658058833 113% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.842105263 100.406767564 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0 20.6045352989 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.0 5.45110844103 128% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.155538836664 0.236089414692 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0449790226146 0.076458572812 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0710954142732 0.0737576698707 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0928061870916 0.150856017488 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0645924637035 0.0645574589148 100% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 11.7677419355 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 58.1214874552 86% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.95 10.9000537634 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.24 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 86.8835125448 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 83.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.