People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment
I certainly disagree with the statement that people are obsessed with their own entertainments, instead of focusing on things they should do. Because the burden or responsibilities on people's shoulders are not less than the past at all, even though our society provides us with far more choices on leisure activities than before. If we look carefully, we could easily notice that most people have to even sacrifice some of their personal time to get more work done.
First, this statement above is not true for today’s children in China. 20 years ago when I was a child, we spent a lot of time playing around with other kids. Besides, teachers and parents didn’t tend to put a lot of pressure on us. On the contrary, students are really involved in all kinds of classes nowadays, remedial classes, like English and Math; and interest classes, such as dancing, drawing, piano etc. In the meantime, they have heavy homework waiting for them. My cousins who have kids are always complaining that how much time they need to spend on homework with their kids.
Second, spending too much time on individual enjoyment is not true for adults either as far as I am concerned. We live in a highly competitive world. In order to get a proper position after graduating, we have to study hard at universities. Getting a good job is not the end but a new start. We have to work hard to maintain the position because knowledge we have learned in school is not enough for us to succeed in our professions. Time needed to be spent on technics and skills when it comes to different kinds of relationships. So, I really don't see there are much time left for young adults to spend on recreations.
Actually, it’s not something we should blame too much that even people sometimes do spend their time on relaxing a lot. Because it’s a necessary way to get our mental and physical health in a good state for better study and work. And usually it works well for us as we get the energy back up after enjoying ourselves.
In conclusion, based on the situation I saw on children and adults, people certainly are not spending too much time on their own enjoyment and they really are taking their responsibilities in life.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...o spend on homework with their kids. Second, spending too much time on indivi...
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Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...nt kinds of relationships. So, I really dont see there are much time left for young ...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, besides, but, first, if, look, really, second, so, well, in conclusion, such as, on the contrary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 43.0 43.0788530466 100% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 52.1666666667 109% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1828.0 1977.66487455 92% => OK
No of words: 389.0 407.700716846 95% => OK
Chars per words: 4.69922879177 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44106776838 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66373778221 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 210.0 212.727598566 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.539845758355 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 557.1 618.680645161 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.0621353395 48.9658058833 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.4 100.406767564 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.45 20.6045352989 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.3 5.45110844103 97% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.303203404987 0.236089414692 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0839729120719 0.076458572812 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.106243504043 0.0737576698707 144% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.180456342948 0.150856017488 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0706598387888 0.0645574589148 109% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.4 11.7677419355 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 58.1214874552 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 10.1575268817 82% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.98 10.9000537634 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.62 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 86.8835125448 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.