TOEFL essay:A company is going to give some money either to support the arts or to protect the environment . Which do you think the company should choose? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay topics

Donations are one of the primary sources of funds for many events, firms, NGOs, etc. They can be provided by Government or Private Companies as a help solving problems various problems in society. Some would prefer to donate the money to the artistic movement, but I think it should be used to solve environmental pollution. The continuous use of conventional energy resources like fossil fuels, nuclear power plants have polluted the environment, and there is an urgent need to prevent it. The ways in which this fund can help in the aforementioned cause is explored in this essay.

First of all, this fund can help in setting up the newly found non-conventional energy source such as solar power plants, Ocean thermal energy conversion power plants. A huge amount of money is required in building these plants, and governments are struggling to collect that much money. So, if a donation by a private firm is made it would definitely help in this cause. As a result, if these plants are completed, they can potentially replace the polluting conventional energy sources and can help in preventing the pollution of the earth ecosystem. Moreover, unlike fossil fuels, these sources of energy are renewable, which means they do not get exhausted by continuous use. So, there will be no pressure over the earth from the extraction of energy from these resources.

Second, it would help in making available latest technologies for the treatment of polluted air in some poor countries. Many nations are suffering from polluted air taking the lives of thousands of peoples every day: causing lung cancer and many other dangerous diseases. From this donation, polluting industries can replace old machines with new technologies which produce less pollution. Consequently, degradation of environment will be reduced and fewer peoples will die because of it.

For the above-mentioned reasons, I think it is better to donate money to reduce pollution rather than in the field of arts. It would not only help governments in the production of new non-polluting power plants but more importantly will save the lives of thousands of people.

Average: 7.1 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
Essays by the user:

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 152, Rule ID: ADVISE_VBG[5]
Message: The verb 'help' is used with infinitive: 'to solve' or 'solve'.
Suggestion: to solve; solve
...vernment or Private Companies as a help solving problems various problems in society. S...
Line 3, column 289, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[4]
Message: “So , if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... struggling to collect that much money. So, if a donation by a private firm is made it...
Line 7, column 277, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
... save the lives of thousands of people.

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, first, if, moreover, second, so, i think, such as, as a result, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.0286738351 36% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 43.0788530466 51% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 52.1666666667 92% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.0752688172 173% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1790.0 1977.66487455 91% => OK
No of words: 348.0 407.700716846 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.14367816092 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.31911543099 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88688864358 2.67179642975 108% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 212.727598566 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.543103448276 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 552.6 618.680645161 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 28.824969952 48.9658058833 59% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 105.294117647 100.406767564 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.4705882353 20.6045352989 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.58823529412 5.45110844103 103% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0834808300611 0.236089414692 35% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0307682964967 0.076458572812 40% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0368159515678 0.0737576698707 50% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0538277621069 0.150856017488 36% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0338702233054 0.0645574589148 52% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 11.7677419355 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 58.1214874552 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.53 10.9000537634 115% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.71 8.01818996416 109% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 86.8835125448 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?

Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

Rates: 71.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.5 Out of 30
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.