TOEFL TPO 46
In the modern world of today, Hollywood celebrities are chief role models of the public. People, in general, pay a great deal of attention to the opinions of famous celebrities, regard them as trustworthy sources of information and try to follow their path to success and renown. Some argue that younger generation is more attentive to the opinions of well-known celebrities than the older generations. I agree with this notion. I believe the opinions and ideas of famous actors, entertainers and athletes are highly regarded by young people and less so by older people.I consider this to be the case for several reasons and I intend to explain why.
Firstly, we have to consider the environment in which young people are living in nowadays; Rather than the real world, they tend to spend their days in the virtual world, especially social media. Celebrities, with millions of followers have the most influential pages on twitter, instagram, facebook and so on. Whenever they share something, hundreds of thousands of people view it in their feed instantly. Hence, they can easily affect public opinion about different topics, because they get heard the most. Young people think celebrities' opinions are important mainly because they are most widely known. However, generically, older people are less prone to spend their time on social media and thus, they don't really know what celebrities are saying. To illustrate further, I intend to set an example. Last year, a well-recognized, highly popular singer in my country posted a text on instagram in which he terribly insulted girls. This caused a public disgust towards him and everyone decided not to buy or listen to his songs. My dad however didn't know about this because he doesn't have an instagram account and played his song in the car. My sisters and I got furious and told him what was going on.
Secondly, older people, as opposed to younger ones, have a vast amount of experience in their lives. At one time in thier lives, they might have been huge fans of a celebrity and like younger people today, they might have considered famous peoples' opinions to be of great importance. Nevertheless, as they grew older, they gained a lot of experience, met a lot of people, and found out that there are actually so many people whose opinions are truly amazing and much deeper than the opinions of celebrities. For example, my mother, who in the prime of her life, was the biggest Marylin Monroe fan, is now rather ignorant of his affairs and statements. She told me that as she grew older, she met a lot of great people who influenced her alot and she doesn't think of Johnny Depp's opinions that important anymore.
In Closing, I believe because of the foregoing two reasons, the opinions of celebrities are more important to younger people than they are to older poeple.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
In the modern world of today, Hollywood ...
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Line 1, column 163, Rule ID: FAMOUS_CELEBRITY[1]
Message: Use simply 'celebrities'.
Suggestion: celebrities
...at deal of attention to the opinions of famous celebrities, regard them as trustworthy sources of ...
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Line 1, column 575, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: I
...oung people and less so by older people.I consider this to be the case for severa...
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Line 1, column 575, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...oung people and less so by older people.I consider this to be the case for severa...
^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...reasons and I intend to explain why. Firstly, we have to consider the environ...
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Line 3, column 83, Rule ID: IN_NOWADAYS[1]
Message: nowadays is used without 'in'. Use simply: 'nowadays'.
Suggestion: nowadays
...onment in which young people are living in nowadays; Rather than the real world, they tend ...
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Line 3, column 712, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...eir time on social media and thus, they dont really know what celebrities are saying...
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Line 3, column 1051, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
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Suggestion: didn't
... or listen to his songs. My dad however didnt know about this because he doesnt have ...
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Line 3, column 1084, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...owever didnt know about this because he doesnt have an instagram account and played hi...
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Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...ous and told him what was going on. Secondly, older people, as opposed to yo...
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Suggestion: doesn't
... people who influenced her alot and she doesnt think of Johnny Depps opinions that imp...
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Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ps opinions that important anymore. In Closing, I believe because of the for...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, first, firstly, hence, however, if, nevertheless, really, second, secondly, so, thus, well, for example, in general
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 13.8261648746 130% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 52.0 43.0788530466 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 66.0 52.1666666667 127% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2357.0 1977.66487455 119% => OK
No of words: 480.0 407.700716846 118% => OK
Chars per words: 4.91041666667 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68069463864 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6197293316 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 251.0 212.727598566 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.522916666667 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 729.0 618.680645161 118% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 18.0 9.59856630824 188% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.7962672959 48.9658058833 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.136363636 100.406767564 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.8181818182 20.6045352989 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.68181818182 5.45110844103 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.5376344086 217% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0 0.236089414692 0% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0 0.076458572812 0% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0737576698707 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0 0.150856017488 0% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0645574589148 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 11.7677419355 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 58.1214874552 101% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.2 10.9000537634 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.36 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 112.0 86.8835125448 129% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.