TPO-15 - Independent Writing Task
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Since the dawn of humankind, people believe that everyone should practice and learn future responsibility at their young age, such as financial practice. with this in mind, controversy exists as to whether in order to an adult person becomes financially responsible, children should learn how to manage their own money at young age. Some people believe that it is not needed for a young child to learn this sort of criteria, on the other hand, others believe that this practice makes childern prepare for future's life. I personally agree that children should manage their own money to be prepared for future for some reasons, two of which will be substantiated hereunder.
the first reason behind the advantages of learning to manage their own asset for children is that they can learn how to be self-finance and not to be a dependent person. This practice prepares children for a high-quality life in terms of financial issue because they know how to spend their money in a proper way. To illustrate this subject, take my experience as an example. When I was a 7-year-old boy, I started to go to school, therefore, in order to buy food and then I was given some money for a month and I should manage them for a whole month. Consequently, even though it was a difficult task to do, but it was a very useful practice. Years passed, and now I am a 28-year-old person. practicing and managing my money at my young age not only prepare me to be a financial-independent person but also pave the way toward success's peak. All these features make me a financially responsible adult.
The second reason that should be mentioned about the benefits of money-managing at young age is that can learn how to acquire money because they can feel how hard and diffcult is to attain money. The fact that people know how hard is a task such as acquiring money is so plausible that they will protect the money and want to learn other ways of achieving money. As an illustrative example, since I learned that reaching a specific amount of money needs plenty of efforts, I decided to study some beneficial books to learn the ways by which I can earn money. I found some proper ways such as being a educated person, being a bussiness man and invesnt on a lot of project and so forth. If I had not practiced and learned how to manage my money, I would not have found these ways and as a consequence, I would not be a financially responsible one.
All in all, by taking all the aforementioned reason into account, one can conclude that learning and practicing financial issues such as managing money would make a person financially responsible. This is because not only can they learn how to manage their money, but they learn how to earn money as well.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 155, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: With
... young age, such as financial practice. with this in mind, controversy exists as to ...
^^^^
Line 1, column 193, Rule ID: WHETHER[6]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to"?
Suggestion: whether
.... with this in mind, controversy exists as to whether in order to an adult person becomes fin...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...ich will be substantiated hereunder. the first reason behind the advantages of l...
^^^
Line 3, column 298, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a proper way" with adverb for "proper"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ause they know how to spend their money in a proper way. To illustrate this subject, take my ex...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 694, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Practicing
...sed, and now I am a 28-year-old person. practicing and managing my money at my young age n...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 599, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... I found some proper ways such as being a educated person, being a bussiness man ...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, if, second, so, then, therefore, well, as to, sort of, such as, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 54.0 43.0788530466 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2254.0 1977.66487455 114% => OK
No of words: 485.0 407.700716846 119% => OK
Chars per words: 4.64742268041 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69283662038 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77616902671 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 211.0 212.727598566 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.435051546392 0.524837075471 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 707.4 618.680645161 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 46.4501639236 48.9658058833 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.631578947 100.406767564 118% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.5263157895 20.6045352989 124% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.94736842105 5.45110844103 109% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.270358617417 0.236089414692 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.100440905324 0.076458572812 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0812681193265 0.0737576698707 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.19056318883 0.150856017488 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0469636417741 0.0645574589148 73% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 11.7677419355 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 58.1214874552 94% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.99 10.9000537634 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.51 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 86.8835125448 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.