TPO 27
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying.
I am of the opinion that individuals need to be employed as soon as they have the chance to get it. I feel this way for several main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First and foremost, there is no proof that person will find new opportunity if they wait for it. Moreover, the chance they found may disappear while they are waiting, which leave them without any job. My friend's experience is compelling example of this. Last year, many companies some of which are considered extremely fine invited him to work. Unfortunately, he rejected all proposals because he was wanting to be employed in Mongolian Bank. Few days later, he found that he is not capable of being eligible because of reason that I do not know. Afterwards, he asked the organizations which were inviting him, to start working. None of them, however, alluded to his request because these companies was knowing that he is going to work because of need rather than will.
Secondly, people can change their job as soon as they find better possibility. Meanwhile, they will get salary and satisfy their own need. Additionally, they will gain valuable experience while working, which helps them to be employed better organizations since most of big companies require workers to have savvy. To be more specific, most of people start their career from small companies, gain practical knowledge and gain income. Afterwards, they will be approved by better firms because their practical information have been improved somewhat. For instance, my father started working in unknown companies which helped him to understand important things. Because the company was small, he studied many process in detail. He knows how they provide the delivery service even though he was programmer. Therefore, he learned many things about business by only working for programmer, which prepared him to work in more advanced institution.
In my opinion, individuals need to use any opportunity as soon as they find it. This is because they can avoid risk of being without any job and get well-informed about their profession.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 398, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
...y, he rejected all proposals because he was wanting to be employed in Mongolian Bank. Few d...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 700, Rule ID: NON_ACTION_CONTINUOUS[2]
Message: The verb know is usually not used with a continuous form, use the simple form instead. Suggestion: 'knew'
Suggestion: knew
... to his request because these companies was knowing that he is going to work because of nee...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 700, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
... to his request because these companies was knowing that he is going to work because of nee...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 337, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the people') or simply say ''most people''.
Suggestion: most of the people; most people
...ers to have savvy. To be more specific, most of people start their career from small companies...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 702, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun process seems to be countable; consider using: 'many processes'.
Suggestion: many processes
...cause the company was small, he studied many process in detail. He knows how they provide th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, well, while, for instance, i feel, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 13.8261648746 29% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 43.0788530466 123% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 37.0 52.1666666667 71% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1751.0 1977.66487455 89% => OK
No of words: 346.0 407.700716846 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.06069364162 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.31289638616 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70770998094 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 192.0 212.727598566 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.554913294798 0.524837075471 106% => OK
syllable_count: 535.5 618.680645161 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 28.0597031127 48.9658058833 57% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 83.380952381 100.406767564 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.4761904762 20.6045352989 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.52380952381 5.45110844103 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.178588276315 0.236089414692 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0577249577292 0.076458572812 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0423044162607 0.0737576698707 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.124075125754 0.150856017488 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0133856412684 0.0645574589148 21% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.6 11.7677419355 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 10.1575268817 83% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.77 10.9000537634 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.85 8.01818996416 98% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 86.8835125448 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.