TPO 27 Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement If people have the opportunity to get a secure job they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying Use specific reasons and ex

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TPO-27 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying.Use specific reasons and ex

Job is a vital part of individuals' life. During their lifetime, they have to make serious decisions such as deciding which occupation is good for them. Some people believe that they should spend too much time getting a job instead of taking it immediately, while others disagree completely and have an opposite perspective. In my view, I think that they should accept a job offer as soon as possible rather than waiting for the better one for two important reasons which I will elaborate in the following paragraphs.
First and foremost, if people do not take a job offer right away, they may lose the chance to have a job. In the competitive world, it is so hard to predict how many opportunities they will have. When they want to think about whether get a profession or refuse it, they may never have this chance again. For example, when I was at university, I was studying mechanical engineering. In my last year of study, one of my professors who knew me very well gave me a special opportunity to work at his company as a mechanical technician. I rejected it immediately since I wanted to work as a mechanical engineer. After graduation, I tried so hard to find a job in my field of study but I failed because of a lack of job experience. As you can see, should individuals not get a vocation offer very soon, they never experience it again.
Second, when persons accept a job immediately, they will have enough time to progress. In the modern world, time is a crucial portion of their life to flourish as when they will be older, they do not have any energy to learn new things. Therefore, they miss making a big jump in their life. For instance, when I graduated from university, I spent so much time finding a mechanical engineering profession which was my dream. I got several offers in different areas of engineering. However, I repudiated them to look for a job in my expertise. As over time, due to economic conditions, I had to take an electrical engineering job in a small company that was a startup. The manager of the company asked me to pass several courses in order to learn about this new field. Unfortunately, I did not have any passion to study them and so I could not take a certificate. As a result, I got fired although I was a diligent person during study at university. This experience shows me that when people hesitate to get a job offer, they may lose it forever.
In conclusion, all individuals should seize a job offer immediately rather than waiting for an ideal one. Trying for finding the best opportunity not only causes them to lose the chance but also leads them not to have time to blossom. All young people should take a vocation offer without any thinking to progress.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 700, Rule ID: A_LOT_OF_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun job seems to be countable; consider using: 'a lack of jobs'.
Suggestion: a lack of jobs
... field of study but I failed because of a lack of job experience. As you can see, should indi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, look, may, second, so, therefore, well, while, for example, for instance, i think, in conclusion, such as, as a result, in my view

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 9.8082437276 143% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 13.8261648746 43% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 63.0 43.0788530466 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 56.0 52.1666666667 107% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2225.0 1977.66487455 113% => OK
No of words: 487.0 407.700716846 119% => OK
Chars per words: 4.56878850103 4.8611393121 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69766713281 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7757371795 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 230.0 212.727598566 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.47227926078 0.524837075471 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 729.0 618.680645161 118% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 20.0 9.59856630824 208% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 10.0 3.51792114695 284% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 35.3922232624 48.9658058833 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 85.5769230769 100.406767564 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.7307692308 20.6045352989 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.19230769231 5.45110844103 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.85842293907 233% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.285694305872 0.236089414692 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0822496379452 0.076458572812 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0694161200853 0.0737576698707 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.201095372475 0.150856017488 133% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0495217887246 0.0645574589148 77% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.5 11.7677419355 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.23 10.9000537634 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.32 8.01818996416 91% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 86.8835125448 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.