tpo 34
The education system is the most important system, and the key element to build the best generations. Moreover, students nowadays face a lot of challenges in their life and their education because they use a lot of things for a long period of time like their cell phones, online games, and social networking Web site. And from my point of view all the previous activities make the educational system more harder than past, and the impact of my view will be analyzed in this essay for further enlighten.
First of all, the using of cell phones, online games, and social Web site is a double edge sword.On the on hand, students spend a lot of time in these tools without actual goals or benefits,that lead to decrease the studying hours. For example, when we bought the first computer with internet connection we spent a huge time playing games like candy crush and others.
secondly, students become more distracted in their classes and studying time and they are overthinking about finishing their homework to return to playing or surfing internet, and there are many proven statistics indicate that the student grad point averages declined by the unreasonable using. For instance my youngest brother play all the time on his mobile phone and the ultimate result was very low marks on his exams, so my parents collaborate with each other to solve this problem by identify a specific time for using his mobile phone and banning any up normal behaviors, after a month his marks return to the normal status.
In conclusion, I think my opinion is strong and solid enough to clarify all the previous reasons that I mentioned above, and I believe that we have to be very careful with dealing with pupils and to take a real steps to tackle this situation.
Comments
oh my god there is some thing
oh my god there is some thing wrong is it really to get like this mark ?????????????
For independent toefl essays,
For independent toefl essays, need to put a complete essay topic. The e-grader doesn't understand 'TPO 34' as a topic.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 234, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...use they use a lot of things for a long period of time like their cell phones, online games, a...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 309, Rule ID: WEB_SITE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'website'?
Suggestion: Website
...es, online games, and social networking Web site. And from my point of view all the prev...
^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 401, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'harder' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: harder
... activities make the educational system more harder than past, and the impact of my view wi...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 66, Rule ID: WEB_SITE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'website'?
Suggestion: Website
...f cell phones, online games, and social Web site is a double edge sword.On the on hand, ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 98, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: On
... social Web site is a double edge sword.On the on hand, students spend a lot of ti...
^^
Line 3, column 190, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , that
...e tools without actual goals or benefits,that lead to decrease the studying hours. Fo...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Secondly
...g games like candy crush and others. secondly, students become more distracted in the...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, for example, for instance, i think, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 9.8082437276 10% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.0286738351 45% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 30.0 43.0788530466 70% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 52.1666666667 81% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1455.0 1977.66487455 74% => OK
No of words: 303.0 407.700716846 74% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.80198019802 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.17215713816 4.48103885553 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47821604174 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 176.0 212.727598566 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.580858085809 0.524837075471 111% => OK
syllable_count: 456.3 618.680645161 74% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 9.59856630824 21% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.86738351254 375% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 8.0 20.6003584229 39% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 37.0 20.1344086022 184% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 72.6149950079 48.9658058833 148% => OK
Chars per sentence: 181.875 100.406767564 181% => OK
Words per sentence: 37.875 20.6045352989 184% => OK
Discourse Markers: 13.25 5.45110844103 243% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0 0.236089414692 0% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0 0.076458572812 0% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0737576698707 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0 0.150856017488 0% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0645574589148 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 20.1 11.7677419355 171% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.38 58.1214874552 73% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.5 10.1575268817 162% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.15 10.9000537634 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.48 8.01818996416 118% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 86.8835125448 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 16.8 10.0537634409 167% => OK
text_standard: 17.0 10.247311828 166% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.