TPO-40 - Independent Writing Task Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Education has become one of the momentous issues in the modern era which has always engendered heated debate among academicians. A question which is raised in this regard is whether parents should use money as a reward for students' mark. While some people assert that this behavior can exert undue influence over children, the others hold the opposite perspective. I contend that the advantages of this method carry more weight than the disadvantages owing to some substantial reasons. The following paragraphs will elaborate on my points of view.

The most privileged reason is that the parents should motivate their children, thus they need to use awards to encourage them. Besides, money can be an excellent prize for children, hence, it can inspire students to study more effective. As a result, they become more successful. For instance, when I was in the primary school, I did not like to study due to it was tedious for me. My parents talked to my teacher to find a conceivable solution. Then, they decided to use money as a motivation for me. on the other hand, I always wanted money to by the games. It really worked as I realized the more I studied, the more I can buy games. It indicates that money can be helpful for students improvement.

Another considerable reason which deserves some words here is that using money as an award makes the opportunity for students to choose what they want to buy. It makes the children more independent as they can decide for themselves. Also, making decision boosts their self-confidence which would have a beneficial impression on their future career. A recent survey on this topic has been done in Japan. They examine the effects of paying money to childrens' score because they are so conservative in their education system. It turns out that this will learn students how to make a decision. Consequently, offering money for a grade is instructive.

In brief, while some deleterious results can be mentioned by criticisms of this plan, I think it would be advantageous. Because this method not only intrigues students make more efforts but also makes them more independent. I recommend that parents exploit money as a bonus for their student attempt.

Votes
Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, consequently, hence, really, so, then, thus, while, for instance, i think, in brief, as a result, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 9.8082437276 143% => OK
Conjunction : 1.0 13.8261648746 7% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 50.0 43.0788530466 116% => OK
Preposition: 36.0 52.1666666667 69% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1839.0 1977.66487455 93% => OK
No of words: 371.0 407.700716846 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.95687331536 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38877662729 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77643471688 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 212.727598566 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.539083557951 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 583.2 618.680645161 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 31.3686635921 48.9658058833 64% => OK
Chars per sentence: 76.625 100.406767564 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.4583333333 20.6045352989 75% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.625 5.45110844103 103% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.24614120978 0.236089414692 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0735373679141 0.076458572812 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0535677202428 0.0737576698707 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.152746552638 0.150856017488 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0401525498029 0.0645574589148 62% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.7 11.7677419355 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.25 58.1214874552 97% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.19 10.9000537634 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.64 8.01818996416 108% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 86.8835125448 115% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.