TPO 40- Some people offer their school-age children money for each high score they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
How to motivate students to perform well at school is a controversial issue in today’s world. With this in mind, a debate exits as to whether or not paying money for every educational improvement is a good idea. Were I ask to give my point of view on this view, I would definitely disagree with offering children money as a reward on some reasons. The following paragraphs will aptly elucidate my stand point with two conspicuous reasons.
The first and foremost reason is that using money reward to encourage children makes misunderstanding for them about the main purpose of hard-working in school. In this regard, enriching their wallet has been considered the reason of school, rather than enriching their mind and character. Without any shallow of doubt, they do the minimum amount of their endeavor only to get reward—not being successful academically. As an illustrator, consider a school-age child studied hard for a biology test, and did all his best to obtain the mark which his parent had determined. Consequently, he was not successful in the test. If his parents do not appreciate their effort, henceforth he will not any interesting and motivation in learning biology. Therefore, parents should focus on the children’s effort, instead of highlighting the result, as a result children learn that endeavor if of great more important than the result.
Another salient point touching on my stand point is that no one can turn a blind eye to this fact that money cannot buy smart, motivation, and school success. It is true that appreciation is always a better motivator for children to do their best in studying; however, it cannot guarantee the children’s succeeding. A saying comes to mind, the equivalent of which in English may sound like this, “success cannot has price.” Which may be of assistant to clarify that paying for grades preparing children to rely on payouts rather than to work hard in school. Conspicuously, children will truly flourish if parents help them cultivate a love of learning for their own education, not to accustom them to give reward.
As a consequence of the aforementioned reasons and example, it is crystal clear that paying children for grade causes a student to lose appreciation for the intrinsic value of learning. last but not the least, it is highly advised to highlight children’s hard-working due to the considerable impact of it on motivate children to love learning.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 135, Rule ID: WHETHER[4]
Message: Wordiness: Shorten this phrase to the shortest possible suggestion.
Suggestion: whether; whether or not; as to whether
...rld. With this in mind, a debate exits as to whether or not paying money for every educational impr...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 929, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...f great more important than the result. Another salient point touching on my sta...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 187, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Last
...on for the intrinsic value of learning. last but not the least, it is highly advised...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, first, hence, however, if, may, so, therefore, well, as to, as a result, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 43.0788530466 86% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2063.0 1977.66487455 104% => OK
No of words: 402.0 407.700716846 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.13184079602 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.47771567384 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.09839326758 2.67179642975 116% => OK
Unique words: 221.0 212.727598566 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.549751243781 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 612.0 618.680645161 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.3375740982 48.9658058833 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.352941176 100.406767564 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.6470588235 20.6045352989 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.0 5.45110844103 110% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.286528802434 0.236089414692 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0857840591091 0.076458572812 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0442972296621 0.0737576698707 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.164201989437 0.150856017488 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0377820848235 0.0645574589148 59% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 11.7677419355 124% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 58.1214874552 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.77 10.9000537634 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.71 8.01818996416 109% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 86.8835125448 115% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.