TPO 44: Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Other believe that it is best to use that time doing things together that are related to schoolwork, which of the two approaches do you prefer?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
It goes without saying that in the modern and sophisticated world in which we live, parents have to spend a lot of time and energy on numerous works and problems relating to their jobs, families, and societies. Therefore, they hardly have free/spire/ any left time for allocating to their children. When parents want to use this time in such an excellent manner, some hold the view to do outdoor activities such as playing sports or games; however, others are of the view point to do activities together linking to children's' homework. I, personally, subscribe to the former group for some quite a few reasons, two conspicuous ones of which are elucidated upon hereunder.
The first reason coming to mind is that by doing so, both parents and children can have more mental as well as physical health, despite spending free time for school works. Actually, in hectic modern life, because parents spend more considerable time in their jobs, they have a lot of pressure and challenging times in this situation. Moreover, children are in school the whole day, since they have tremendous stress and a sedentary lifestyle during school time. Having such funny activities can lead them to release their negative feelings and stresses and have many memorable memories, which help them have great mental health. Moreover, when they are playing games or sports, it improves their immune system and prevents them from obesity. In contrast, if they do homework-related issues, they deprive of such grateful mental and physical health. Therefore, the more time spending on funny activities, the more having mental and physical health.
Another equally important point is that parents can notice their children's misbehavior in these situations, and then they can contribute them to improve/ fix such behaviors. In fact, because of the lacking experience of the children, they do not have enough ability to control their emotions appropriately and deal with problems suitably. For instance, when children do not win a game, they may feel unhappy and lose hope. In such situations, parents can learn their children to cope with this problem as well as control their negative emotions, and encourage them to do their best to get success in future games. As a result, children can learn beneficial experiences from their parents, which can help them in their future life. Conversely, If parents spend spire time to help their children in their homework instead of playing with them, children cannot attain such experience from their parents gaining by playing games or sports.
To put it briefly, I do believe that parents should spend their leisure time playing with their children. By taking into account all the above reasons, one soon comprehends how playing games with one's children can improve their mental and physical health, and how it can help them to recognize their children's misbehavior and help them to correct such behavior. If parents want to have a strong relationship with their school-age children, they should spend sufficient time with their children to play games.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 197, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...soon comprehends how playing games with ones children can improve their mental and p...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, briefly, but, conversely, first, however, if, may, moreover, so, then, therefore, well, for instance, in contrast, in fact, such as, as a result, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 15.1003584229 40% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 13.8261648746 159% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 54.0 43.0788530466 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 66.0 52.1666666667 127% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2579.0 1977.66487455 130% => OK
No of words: 500.0 407.700716846 123% => OK
Chars per words: 5.158 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72870804502 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60098058432 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 232.0 212.727598566 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.464 0.524837075471 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 760.5 618.680645161 123% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 10.0 3.51792114695 284% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 48.1371737849 48.9658058833 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 128.95 100.406767564 128% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.0 20.6045352989 121% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.3 5.45110844103 152% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.407654918838 0.236089414692 173% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.149158812202 0.076458572812 195% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0853539668202 0.0737576698707 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.280970779013 0.150856017488 186% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0339849788094 0.0645574589148 53% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 11.7677419355 131% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 58.1214874552 94% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.94 10.9000537634 119% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.1 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 86.8835125448 117% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.