TPO 45- In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives
Since the down of humankinds, making a right decision has been an profund impact on the human's future life. With this in mind, it is highly debated issue whether in the past youner person relied on the their parnets to make decisions and in these days young people make their own decision or vice versa. I totally agree that the situation has been changed, and nowadays, young people rely o themselves so as to make decisions; therefore, I support my point of view by two reason namely, accessibility to quite a few media and changing their behavoir to be an independent person. In the following paragraphs, I will substantiate this issue.
The first reason that should be mentioned in order to support my view is that by arrival of new social media and some application people can make their own decision without beinh helped by their parents as the past young people. using this media and application, people would be able to experience all the upcoming happens, and also they can consult with the expert people in every field that they want to make decisions. For instance, when I was in high school, I did not know exaclty which filed is suitable for me. Therefore, by using the social media and consulting with some people who was studing and also working in different field, I had to came up with the idea and selected my field of study. The more you use these application, the more you will be able to reach a correct desicion because each person has its own specific idea regarding the each field and issue. In contrast, there were not any application similar to that applicatin, so the young people had to be dependent and allowed their parent to make decision fors them.
The other equally reason confirming that today young people are beeter able to make decision about their own lives is that they want to be an independent person because of changing in behaviors and charachteristics of new people. Not only do they wat to show their power to their parents and friend by making a decision and being independent, But also they think no one can hepl them in this issue. The situatin is the same for me, were I make a decision, I would rely on my self without consulting with my parent. The recent study which is done by a renowned university in Iran has revealed that almost all the young people are willing to make a decision by themselves. They young people were given some questions, and the answers has been analysed by psychologis. As a result, It was their tendecy to be an independent person that encourage them to make a decision by themselves.
All in all, by taking all the aforementiond reasons and examples inro account, one can conclude that today young person make desicion by themselves in contrast to the past young perston that were dependent n their parents to kane a decision beacuse not olny have they accesibility to some social meda and application to consult with other peple, but also they want to be an indenepdent person.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 64, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...kinds, making a right decision has been an profund impact on the humans future lif...
^^
Line 1, column 199, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'the' or 'their'?
Suggestion: the; their
...her in the past youner person relied on the their parnets to make decisions and in these ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 403, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...owadays, young people rely o themselves so as to make decisions; therefore, I support my...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 230, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Using
...their parents as the past young people. using this media and application, people woul...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 236, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...parents as the past young people. using this media and application, people would be ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 721, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this application' or 'these applications'?
Suggestion: this application; these applications
...ted my field of study. The more you use these application, the more you will be able to reach a c...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 433, Rule ID: WERE_VBB[1]
Message: Did you mean 'where' or 'we'?
Suggestion: where; we
...issue. The situatin is the same for me, were I make a decision, I would rely on my s...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, regarding, so, therefore, as to, for instance, in contrast, as a result, in contrast to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 15.1003584229 179% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 13.8261648746 145% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 63.0 43.0788530466 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 74.0 52.1666666667 142% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2446.0 1977.66487455 124% => OK
No of words: 522.0 407.700716846 128% => OK
Chars per words: 4.68582375479 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77988695657 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.59112063355 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 228.0 212.727598566 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.436781609195 0.524837075471 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 774.9 618.680645161 125% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 30.0 20.1344086022 149% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 77.5885697714 48.9658058833 158% => OK
Chars per sentence: 143.882352941 100.406767564 143% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.7058823529 20.6045352989 149% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.41176470588 5.45110844103 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.45447417833 0.236089414692 193% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.170661025983 0.076458572812 223% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.119645044587 0.0737576698707 162% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.312360252807 0.150856017488 207% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0834161185061 0.0645574589148 129% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.0 11.7677419355 136% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.49 58.1214874552 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 10.1575268817 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.51 10.9000537634 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.18 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 86.8835125448 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 17.5 10.002688172 175% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 10.0537634409 139% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.