TPO 46 The opinion of celebrities such as famous entertainers and athletes are more important to younger people than they are older people | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

Essay topics:

TPO 46- The opinion of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are older people.

In today's world, there are many critical factors that can affect people's behavior in society. In this case, some people believe that celebrities' opinions have significant effects on young people in comparison with the elder one. Personally, I agree with this group. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, celebrities' lives are more attractive to youngsters than older people. To explain more, the celebrities, who are famous persons in a society, seem to be successful people, so young persons are more eager to imitate their life in order to achieve prosperity and fame in their life. To be more specific, being famous put the celebrities at the center of attention, so young people believe that they can act like the popular people to be successful. My brother's experience is a compelling example of this. Once my brother was 10 years old, he was a fan of a famous actor. My brother followed him and made him as a hero of his life. He believed that the actor was the most prosperous people he had ever seen, so he was imitating the actor's lifestyle. After some years, my brother found his way and after that never imitate the actor's life.
Secondly, due to the advent of the internet and the improvement of technology, and because of social media, people can follow famous peoples' life and it is obvious that youngsters have the vast percentage of users of these social media. To be more specific, in the sophisticated digital world, where we live in, everyone has his personal page that can show some part of his life and express his opinion in that. On the other hand, young people are the most users of this atmosphere and they spend much of their time surfing the internet and pursue famous peoples' life. Consequently, they are more affected by celebrities. For instance, in my last example, my brother had followed the actor in all social media, and every day and night, he spent a lot of his time reading his opinions and ideas, even the food he ate or the cloth he put on.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that popular persons' ideas can more impress youngsters. This is because, on one hand, young people think that celebrities are prosperous and they want to be successful too, and on the other hand, they are more exposed to celebrities' life due to the internet, smartphones, and social media.

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Essay Categories

Independent TOEFL Writing

Comments

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 296, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ieve prosperity and fame in their life. To be more specific, being famous put the ...
^^
Line 2, column 744, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'actors'' or 'actor's'?
Suggestion: actors'; actor's
... had ever seen, so he was imitating the actors lifestyle. After some years, my brother...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 838, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'actors'' or 'actor's'?
Suggestion: actors'; actor's
...is way and after that never imitate the actors life. Secondly, due to the advent of ...
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, if, second, secondly, so, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, to begin with, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 15.1003584229 139% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 43.0788530466 123% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1957.0 1977.66487455 99% => OK
No of words: 415.0 407.700716846 102% => OK
Chars per words: 4.7156626506 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51348521516 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56751934957 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 201.0 212.727598566 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.484337349398 0.524837075471 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 626.4 618.680645161 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 12.0 4.94265232975 243% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 63.9936804359 48.9658058833 131% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.0 100.406767564 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.8421052632 20.6045352989 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.73684210526 5.45110844103 105% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.241756907343 0.236089414692 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0807557137883 0.076458572812 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0754442385161 0.0737576698707 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.162925195012 0.150856017488 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0105250739436 0.0645574589148 16% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 11.7677419355 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 58.1214874552 101% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.1 10.9000537634 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.68 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 86.8835125448 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.