TPO-5 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.
we live in the most advanced and prosperous era of human history so far. our everyday lives have been so much easier thanks to technological developments that we have so many free times to spent on many things. personally, i believe that today's people are wasting so much of their precious times on something that may not be valuable for their lives. I feel this way for two reasons, which i will explain in the following essay.
First of all, nowadays people are spending most of their times on social media. Of course, technological advances, especially internet, has given us gigantic opportunities, but just like everything else it has one downside, which is it has power to attract and get people addict to it. it is safe to say that almost everyone from age of three to eighty has hooked to social media. even though it has an effect of making people happy, it is sucking our times that we should have spent on other important things. For example, i'm one of these addicted people to social media. When i was in middle school, the internet was not available and at that time i had strong concentration and i didn't mind what others were doing. but after internet became available to my country, it attracted me like black hole. Eventually now as a adult person, my concentration is even worse than my teenage years. I have constant urge to check my social media account and see what my friends or acquaintances are doing even though i know that checking them and seeing them will give me nothing, but take my time.
Secondly, modern people no longer value their families. In previous generations, one of the most important aspects of one's live was family that in some cases, people did everything for their families. but nowadays, because of so many distractions and technological influences, people, especially young people, don't want to be married and have families. In short, personal growth and personal enjoyments have taken us all and blinded us for realizing our most important aspect, family. For instance, my grandfather was really hard working man that he did two jobs in order to feed his family and he always talked about family. even one time he said that even though he didn't like his jobs, he tolerated them because he had loving family that was waiting for him at home. but compared to him, nowadays young people are more oriented in goal and career. As a result, number of families, at least in my country, has been lowest in the history. I'm not saying pursuing career and goal are bad, but in doing so people are forgetting their most precious things.
In conclusion, i strongly believe that in this era people are mostly spending their times on unimportant and selfish things while forgetting their valuable things. this is because they waste most of their times on internet and they don't realize the value of family.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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Suggestion: We
we live in the most advanced and prosperou...
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Suggestion: Our
...prosperous era of human history so far. our everyday lives have been so much easier...
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Suggestion: Personally
...any free times to spent on many things. personally, i believe that todays people are wasti...
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Line 1, column 224, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...es to spent on many things. personally, i believe that todays people are wasting ...
^
Line 1, column 391, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
... I feel this way for two reasons, which i will explain in the following essay. ...
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Suggestion: Even
...e to eighty has hooked to social media. even though it has an effect of making peopl...
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Suggestion: I
...e addicted people to social media. When i was in middle school, the internet was ...
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Line 3, column 651, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...rnet was not available and at that time i had strong concentration and i didnt mi...
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...t time i had strong concentration and i didnt mind what others were doing. but after ...
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Suggestion: But
...nd i didnt mind what others were doing. but after internet became available to my c...
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Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
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...d me like black hole. Eventually now as a adult person, my concentration is even ...
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Suggestion: I
... or acquaintances are doing even though i know that checking them and seeing them...
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Suggestion: But
...ople did everything for their families. but nowadays, because of so many distractio...
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Suggestion: don't
...ences, people, especially young people, dont want to be married and have families. I...
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...mily and he always talked about family. even one time he said that even though he di...
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Suggestion: didn't
...en one time he said that even though he didnt like his jobs, he tolerated them becaus...
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Suggestion: But
...amily that was waiting for him at home. but compared to him, nowadays young people ...
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Suggestion: I'm
...ountry, has been lowest in the history. Im not saying pursuing career and goal are...
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Suggestion: This
...while forgetting their valuable things. this is because they waste most of their tim...
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Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...ost of their times on internet and they dont realize the value of family.
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, may, really, second, secondly, so, while, at least, for example, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, in short, of course, as a result, first of all, in some cases
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 15.1003584229 146% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 13.8261648746 159% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 75.0 43.0788530466 174% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 55.0 52.1666666667 105% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2352.0 1977.66487455 119% => OK
No of words: 495.0 407.700716846 121% => OK
Chars per words: 4.75151515152 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.71684168287 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56030301237 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 244.0 212.727598566 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.492929292929 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 734.4 618.680645161 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.86738351254 321% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.0928609605 48.9658058833 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.0 100.406767564 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.625 20.6045352989 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.29166666667 5.45110844103 134% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 20.0 5.5376344086 361% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.136602292194 0.236089414692 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0369797493067 0.076458572812 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0338600794846 0.0737576698707 46% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0843661078746 0.150856017488 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0237589113918 0.0645574589148 37% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 11.7677419355 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.27 10.9000537634 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.44 8.01818996416 93% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 86.8835125448 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.