TPO 54
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.
There is no denying that both arts and athletics are valuable for human beings. The government needs to spend money on preserving arts and sports. I grant that there are many opinions about this topic; however, I strongly think that governments should spend more money on athletics support. I have mainly two reasons for this that I will explain in the following essay.
Firstly, supporting athletics helps the government to gain their income more efficiently. There are many world competitions of sports such as soccer, tennis, golf, baseball, and so on in addition to the Olympics, which is the biggest sports festival all around the world. These events have a huge impact on the economy. Many people buy tickets for events, and many people visit the country where the events are held. These people sometimes stay in the country for a while after the events for sightseeing. This means that large sports events represented by Olympic make a huge profit for national income. This helps the government spend more money on other activities that are beneficial for all people in the country, such as enhancing social welfare. Even if the government supports arts, people do not spend more money on going to museums or theaters than sports events. This might lead to little impact on the government's income.
Next, artists need less supports than sports players because they can earn money by themselves. They can sell their works as goods. Some prestigious arts are traded at a high price, and this brings artists huge benefits. Not only some traditional arts but also modern pop arts have large markets. Modern artists such as pop musicians or manga writers are commercially successful. For example, Japanese manga such as "Dragon Ball" or "One Piece" is popular worldwide these days. The sales bring huge profit to writers directly, so they do not need financial supports from others. As for the athletes, they cannot earn money without sports events that need sponsors to be taken place.
In conclusion, I strongly stand by my opinion that government should support athletics more than the arts. This is because governments gain more profits from support sports events, and artists do not need more financial supports than athletes.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 822, Rule ID: ON_GOING[1]
Message: Did you mean 'ongoing'?
Suggestion: ongoing
...ts arts, people do not spend more money on going to museums or theaters than sports even...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 914, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'governments'' or 'government's'?
Suggestion: governments'; government's
...This might lead to little impact on the governments income. Next, artists need less suppor...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 20, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun supports is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...governments income. Next, artists need less supports than sports players because th...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, so, while, as for, for example, in addition, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 43.0788530466 72% => OK
Preposition: 29.0 52.1666666667 56% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1888.0 1977.66487455 95% => OK
No of words: 369.0 407.700716846 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.11653116531 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38284983912 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52644011517 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 185.0 212.727598566 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.50135501355 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 558.0 618.680645161 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 32.7192329396 48.9658058833 67% => OK
Chars per sentence: 82.0869565217 100.406767564 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.0434782609 20.6045352989 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.65217391304 5.45110844103 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.294119564896 0.236089414692 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0916764545073 0.076458572812 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0898203124249 0.0737576698707 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.214721388674 0.150856017488 142% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0741265499019 0.0645574589148 115% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 11.7677419355 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 10.1575268817 83% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.12 10.9000537634 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.85 8.01818996416 98% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 86.8835125448 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.