TPO21 – Independent: A/D? For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.
The question of wheather that relate to peple to find a job is important or not, has always been a controversial topic among people with varied points of view. In one spit, some people believe that, it is really important, and they think, if they do not have a good relate to people, they will not be able to have a chance to find a good job. On the other hand, some people beleive that with studyng hard in school they can be succeess in a future job.
I firmly agree with the first view for the following reasons.
first of all, recently a lot of company and job opportunity have been increased, and most people are rivaling with each other, so if you do not have a good relate in your country you will not be able to success in a future job. Let me to give an example about my self, I have a master degree from the best university in my mother country, when I was a student, I just focuced in my home works, and I studied very hard, so I could not get a intership, and got a work experience, so after graduation, while I was loking for a job, one of my friends who was a weak in her major could start to work in a rich company because her ancle was a manager in that company.
Second, I think salary and job position are really important, and in my opinion we have to work with some factories or companies with opportunities for improving. For instance, one of my friend who is a stuff in a institue does not have a chance to promote her job position, and she has been working there for five years, but she is not satisfied with her salary and her position. On the other hand, my friend that I mentioned in the first reason could promot her job position after one year. In addition, her salary has been incereasing in recent year.
All in all, I think relate well to people is more important to success in a job, and we have to improve this ability instead of studing hard.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: First
...st view for the following reasons. first of all, recently a lot of company and j...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 439, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...I studied very hard, so I could not get a intership, and got a work experience, s...
^
Line 13, column 213, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...nce, one of my friend who is a stuff in a institue does not have a chance to prom...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, really, second, so, well, while, for instance, i think, in addition, first of all, in my opinion, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 43.0 43.0788530466 100% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 52.1666666667 98% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1535.0 1977.66487455 78% => OK
No of words: 362.0 407.700716846 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.24033149171 4.8611393121 87% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.36191444098 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.36925280876 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Unique words: 171.0 212.727598566 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.472375690608 0.524837075471 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 490.5 618.680645161 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 8.0 1.86738351254 428% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 20.6003584229 53% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 32.0 20.1344086022 159% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 98.6150374935 48.9658058833 201% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 139.545454545 100.406767564 139% => OK
Words per sentence: 32.9090909091 20.6045352989 160% => OK
Discourse Markers: 11.9090909091 5.45110844103 218% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.241878224064 0.236089414692 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.103616979951 0.076458572812 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0917685820269 0.0737576698707 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.153568932775 0.150856017488 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.105202148104 0.0645574589148 163% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 11.7677419355 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.92 58.1214874552 96% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 10.1575268817 132% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.9 10.9000537634 72% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.58 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 54.0 86.8835125448 62% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.002688172 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.8 10.0537634409 147% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.247311828 146% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Rates: 61.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.