TPO40
Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think it is a good idea?
Education, the foundation of children's life, has been valued and triggers heated discussion over whether parents should reward their children if they get good grades by giving them money. This kind of reward, in some people's view, is bad for children's development. Contrary to their opinion is my perspective that rewarding their satisfying grade can help students study harder and develop essential skills.
To begin with, offering students money for high marks is beneficial to their study, as it will encourage kids to study hard. It is well-acknowledged that children are not mature enough, they do not understand the significance of learning knowledge. Financial rewards, without a doubt, provide them with a concrete goal to strive for, serving as a motivation for kids to study harder. To be more specific, if they get money from their parents for their gratifying academic performance, they will be more likely to allocate more time to doing problem sets, reviewing their textbooks, or discussing with teachers when having questions. Furthermore, they will pay more attention to the teachers during class. However, without reward, children will not study diligently. Instead, they may sleep during class or spend most of their spare time playing computer games, resulting in lower grades.
In addition, never should we ignore the positive effect of rewarding children on the development of kids' study skills and money management skills. After a period of study, children will gradually find out how to learn knowledge efficiently. Children, in order to win rewards from their parents, have to discover an efficient learning approach that fit them best, otherwise, they will find it laborious to get a superb grade. For example, some children may find out that they can effectively learn by taking notes during class and reviewing it again after class, some may realize that they should better learn by watching course videos. The best way of study they found during this course will play an important role in the future when they enter college or after graduation. What's more, the money they get from their parents also helps them improve their ability to manage their money. After earning money by getting good grades, kids have to distribute the money appropriately. They should, for instance, accumulate the money for the whole year in order to buy a favorite toy, increasing their sense of thrift and allocate money wisely. Without such opportunity, it is impossible for them to learn how to manage the earned money.
In conclusion, only by giving money reward for children's excellent academic performance can students study harder and nurture their study skills and money management skills.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 335, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to approach'
Suggestion: to approach
... have to discover an efficient learning approach that fit them best, otherwise, they wil...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 776, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: What's
...they enter college or after graduation. Whats more, the money they get from their par...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, however, if, may, so, well, for example, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, kind of, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 9.8082437276 173% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 46.0 43.0788530466 107% => OK
Preposition: 61.0 52.1666666667 117% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2279.0 1977.66487455 115% => OK
No of words: 434.0 407.700716846 106% => OK
Chars per words: 5.25115207373 4.8611393121 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56428161445 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63498278508 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 225.0 212.727598566 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.518433179724 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 677.7 618.680645161 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 11.0 4.94265232975 223% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.585160502 48.9658058833 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.95 100.406767564 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.7 20.6045352989 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.45 5.45110844103 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.305483846194 0.236089414692 129% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.104812337712 0.076458572812 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0588028964026 0.0737576698707 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.201417116114 0.150856017488 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0495687393657 0.0645574589148 77% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 11.7677419355 120% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 58.1214874552 86% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.17 10.9000537634 121% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.5 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 86.8835125448 121% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.