what would you change about your city

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what would you change about your city

I am from Al-Basrah, which considered the biggest city in the South East of Iraq. My hometown deemed to play an essential role in the economy of the region. But, it suffers a lot from my government's corruption. Therefore, when I moved to live in the USA; I dreamed of going back there and add several things. My city lacks libraries, parks, and factories.

To begin, in term of libraries, my people are very smart. Unfortunately, they do not have the opportunity to evolve their intelligence. Libraries are the best place to encourage those people to study and read, using books resources, and the internet. Furthermore, they have the quiet area for focusing without any interruption. For example, when I was at school, I could not find any place to study with my classmates. Our houses are tight and full of noise. I remember one day at the final exam. I went to study with my friend in his apartment. Unfortunately, we could not make any progress. His little twin brothers created a lot of screams and disruption. If we had any public library, I am sure it will create highly educational people in the Middle East.

In addition to that, our city has several lakes, hundred mini-streams and thousands of palm trees. Its has beachy weather. Our summer is humid, and our winter is fabulous. Our families need to appreciate and touch their lands and take advantages from their city. We need few of city parks. For example, the huge lake of Shatt AlArab, which created from to untied of the two long rivers; Euphrates and Tigerst, is left without any protection. This lake rich with an important kind of sea creature and rare animals. If I could encourage my city hall to preserve this area and help our population to enjoy camping there. Perhaps, everyone, there would be thankful.

Finally, my city is the number one in the area with the importing oil. We all know the role that the oil plays for the economy. Our land needs to build several factories to trigger to the employment of my population. Recent research from Baghdad University states that more that 70% of our current graduate students applied for immigration or waited from travel documents to work in the neighborhood countries. I am sure if any one of them found his chance to work in his hometown city, why he would leave?

All in all, my town needs library, parks and factories to raise its economy. Therefore, if I have the chance to change things there I would like to bring those three things there.

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Average: 8 (2 votes)
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I am from Al-Basrah, which considered the biggest city in the South East of Iraq.
I am from Al-Basrah, which is considered as the biggest city in the South East of Iraq.

Its has beachy weather.
It has beachy weather.

This lake rich with an important kind of sea creature
This lake is rich with an important kind of sea creature

Sentence: Its has beachy weather.
Error: beachy Suggestion: beach

flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 13.594 21.0

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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 32 15
No. of Words: 435 350
No. of Characters: 1968 1500
No. of Different Words: 233 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.567 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.524 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.495 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 119 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 88 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 13.594 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.771 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.375 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.252 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.418 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.068 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5