Young people should try different jobs before they decide which job or career they will choose in the long term.
We are living in a complex age which job and career have a profound impact on our hectic lives. Although some people believe that young people should try different jobs before choosing a job for a long term, I firmly concur the idea that people should focus on one job. There are some reasons, the most outstanding of which will be discussed in the ensuing paragraphs.
To begin with, it is undoubted that, young people should choose a job based on their knowledge and what they studied in the school or university. As a matter of fact, people know much more about what they have learnt and are able to have remarkable progress due to their experience. To illustrate this fact, one needs only refer to numerous student who have a job with low level complication such as plumber due to changing their job frequently. Seldom can they promote in their job position with changing their vacation. Although they can learn more by experiencing more careers, what results from changing vacation are to decrease their performance in new job because of lack of adequate knowledge. To illustrate, there is a great consensus among scientists all over the world that changing job directly influence on people's prosperous. So, they established an experimental program worldwide to estimate effect of this matter on one's life. The result are surprising: approximately 90% of prosperous business man are ones following one job in their lives.
The second reason why I agree with it is that by changing job before starting one permanent vacation, it is feasible that people waste their time and money. The modern world offers abundant examples of people who consume plenty of time to find a decent job by changing their job. If they stay in one job, they are able to increase their enthusiastic to improve their ability and pay their way easily. In addition to aforementioned notes, most companies would like to employees the young who have lower ages. Because they believe that people's performance decrease overtime. There is a well-known proverb in Persian, the equivalent of which in English may sound like this" the more people experience one job, the more they would be health in their lives". The proverb clarifies the fact that there are a lot of hard mental diseases deriving from changing job frequently.
To make a long story short, no one can deny the enormous positive effect of following one career. Not only are young people able to have many progressions in their lives, but also they can consume their time effectively and efficiently on finding a decent job. For this reason, I highly recommend that young people focus on one vacation to bring themselves several lucrative consequences such what mentioned above.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1018, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...tely 90% of prosperous business man are ones following one job in their lives. The ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 157, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...that people waste their time and money. The modern world offers abundant examples o...
^^^
Line 3, column 508, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...mployees the young who have lower ages. Because they believe that peoples performance d...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, may, second, so, thus, well, in addition, such as, as a matter of fact, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 47.0 43.0788530466 109% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 52.1666666667 121% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2281.0 1977.66487455 115% => OK
No of words: 457.0 407.700716846 112% => OK
Chars per words: 4.99124726477 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62358717085 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67206184129 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 230.0 212.727598566 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.503282275711 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 712.8 618.680645161 115% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 8.0 3.08781362007 259% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 33.8239405882 48.9658058833 69% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.619047619 100.406767564 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.7619047619 20.6045352989 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.7619047619 5.45110844103 87% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.406506905028 0.236089414692 172% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.129823989648 0.076458572812 170% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0968962739303 0.0737576698707 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.285483513457 0.150856017488 189% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.114505761487 0.0645574589148 177% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 11.7677419355 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 58.1214874552 86% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.66 10.9000537634 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.62 8.01818996416 108% => OK
difficult_words: 114.0 86.8835125448 131% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.