Younger school children
(ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math,
science, history and language.
Since the dawn of civilization, children have had one of the greatest roles in societies all over the world. Although some people believe that children should study important course such as math, science and so forth, I firmly concur the idea that student should be required to study art and music besides other courses. There are some reasons, the most outstanding of which will be discussed in the ensuing paragraphs.
Firstly, it is undoubted that so influential has mental health been that it had had a great number of positive effects on children's future from around the world, yet above all it has helped children to follow their goals better due to the fact that listening to music and learning about art are able to bring children promising future. To illustrate this fact, one needs only refer to numerous mental diseases of student deriving from lack of presence of art in the early stage of their lives. An example will illustrate this viewpoint better. As I remember, when I was 7 years old, I attended the music class and it had provided me an opportunity to reals my stress and tension. Thereby, by recovering my mind, I was able to concentrate on others course easily. I do believe that had I not studied music in that time, I would not have released my stress due to the fact that it allowed me to become successful in my life.
Secondly, it is established beyond doubt that on the one hand, some people believe that spending time on art courses takes children's time and they cannot focus on their main courses, yet on the other hand, some people believe that children in this period are the ones who are supposed to attend the society in the near future and they should become familiar with wide variety of fields to find their interests. Hence, I strongly agree with the latter idea and I do believe that the more children have more knowledge, the better they can decide for their future. By way of illustration, the noteworthy intelligible results, which conducted in our country, show that the 90 percent of artist and musician, are the ones who find their interest in lower age.
To make a long story short, by considering all the aforementioned reasons, one soon realizes that no one can deny the enormous positive effects of studying art on children who aged between 5-10. Not only are they able to release their stress and tension but also they can find their interests and follow them. For this reason, were I be a determiner in our country, I would have added more courses relating to art because it brings them several lucrative consequences like what mentioned above.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 327, Rule ID: WERE_VBB[1]
Message: Did you mean 'where' or 'we'?
Suggestion: where; we
...rests and follow them. For this reason, were I be a determiner in our country, I wou...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, firstly, hence, if, second, secondly, so, such as, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 11.0286738351 181% => OK
Pronoun: 60.0 43.0788530466 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 64.0 52.1666666667 123% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2147.0 1977.66487455 109% => OK
No of words: 454.0 407.700716846 111% => OK
Chars per words: 4.72907488987 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61598047577 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.50250994731 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 230.0 212.727598566 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.506607929515 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 672.3 618.680645161 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 30.0 20.1344086022 149% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 90.9848827492 48.9658058833 186% => OK
Chars per sentence: 143.133333333 100.406767564 143% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.2666666667 20.6045352989 147% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.33333333333 5.45110844103 116% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.173832008192 0.236089414692 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0567315157679 0.076458572812 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0683974546912 0.0737576698707 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.122110808481 0.150856017488 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0673997994802 0.0645574589148 104% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.0 11.7677419355 136% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.49 58.1214874552 85% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 10.1575268817 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.75 10.9000537634 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.46 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 86.8835125448 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.002688172 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 10.0537634409 139% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.