Altruism is a type of behaviour

Essay topics:

Altruism is a type of behaviour...

Both the passage and the lecture discuss the behavior where an animal sacrifices its own interest to help other members of the group or society, which is called altruism. The passage argues that the altruist gets almost nothing in return while making sacrifices for other members. But the lecture contradicts the points made by the passage.

First, the passage presented an example by describing the humanitarian acts of people who share food with strangers or donate a kidney to others. Though the passage claims that the donor gets nothing, the lecture opposes the idea. The lecturer thinks that the altruist person here is getting very much appreciation and approval from society. Which could be more valuable than the material value. It is giving the person a feeling of self-worth.

Second, according to the lecturer, the example of meerkats presented in the passage is also invalid to exemplify a great sacrifice. The passage described that the sentinel is guarding the group and signaling the approach of predators by putting itself in great danger. However, the lecturer suggests that the recent studies showed that the sentinel is actually at lower risk than other members of the group. This claim is strengthened by the information that the sentinel actually eats first and stands near a safe location. So, when the predator comes, it is the first who gets to see the predator and gets enough time to flee away. After its signal, other members hurry and draw the attention of the predator which gives the sentinel more opportunity to run away.

In these ways, the lecture contradicts with the passage in explaining altruism.

Votes
Average: 0.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 346, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Which” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...eciation and approval from the society. Which could be more valuable than the materia...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, however, if, second, so, then, while

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 10.4613686534 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 5.04856512141 20% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 7.30242825607 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 12.0772626932 116% => OK
Pronoun: 13.0 22.412803532 58% => OK
Preposition: 27.0 30.3222958057 89% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 5.01324503311 80% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1310.0 1373.03311258 95% => OK
No of words: 261.0 270.72406181 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.01915708812 5.08290768461 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.0193898071 4.04702891845 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.50286898106 2.5805825403 97% => OK
Unique words: 145.0 145.348785872 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.555555555556 0.540411800872 103% => OK
syllable_count: 400.5 419.366225166 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.55342163355 97% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 3.25607064018 92% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.23620309051 85% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 1.25165562914 240% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.51434878587 66% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 2.5761589404 78% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 13.0662251656 107% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 21.2450331126 85% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 36.7490802328 49.2860985944 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.5714285714 110.228320801 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.6428571429 21.698381199 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.57142857143 7.06452816374 65% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 4.09492273731 73% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 4.19205298013 24% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 4.33554083885 208% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 4.45695364238 67% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.27373068433 47% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0174321770125 0.272083759551 6% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.00504402342824 0.0996497079465 5% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0181864851052 0.0662205650399 27% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0156304435851 0.162205337803 10% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.022104785304 0.0443174109184 50% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.5 13.3589403974 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 53.8541721854 115% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 11.0289183223 83% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 12.2367328918 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.46 8.42419426049 100% => OK
difficult_words: 65.0 63.6247240618 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.7273730684 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.498013245 88% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.2008830022 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Minimum four paragraphs wanted. The correct pattern:

para 1: introduction
para 2: doubt 1
para 3: doubt 2
para 4: doubt 3

Less contents wanted from the reading passages(25%), more content wanted from the lecture (75%).

Don't need a conclusion paragraph.

Read sample essays from ETS:
http://www.testbig.com/users/toeflwritingmaster

It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.