Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

An award for high grade of students is a motivation to encourage to study hard and reward is invested with different opinions of parents: money reward that is considered to be a good choice to some parents may be an incorrect way to help students study hard. As far as I am concerned, offering money for each high scores is not a wise idea.
First of all, money reward for high grades will distort students’ learning intention and attitude to study. Some parents offering money for students’ good grades hope their children to study hard continuously. But if parents want to help their children become elites through finical incentives, it will mislead students that money is their study goal. The aim of studying is to enrich people’s mind and train their diet and quality. Students should enjoy the process of learning and feel a sense of satisfaction during the time, which can help them erect their confidence. It is true that students should be encouraged appropriately but rather than finical support. May be rewarding them a ball or going to the amusement park is a better idea, which not only can achieve the aim of motivation but also relaxing children from heavy homework. Thus giving money for high grades is to students as guiding a wrong way is to cars.
Secondly, another fact that should be taken into consideration is that offering money for each high grades will ignore students’ improvements. Parents always judge if their children study hard depending on their scores. But some students with poor understanding are not as well as others, parents should focus on their progress but rather than the results of their exams. These students try them best to keep path with these clever students and we cannot overlook their efforts. The reward is true for high grades is also true for study hard.
In conclusion, the idea of providing students’ great scores with money is lack of consideration. That is because that not only money reward for high grades will influence the value of students but also the award for these high grades disciplines may ignore students’ efforts on other subjects.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 66, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'studying'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'encourage' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: studying
...f students is a motivation to encourage to study hard and reward is invested with differ...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, thus, well, in conclusion, as well as, first of all, it is true

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 10.4613686534 201% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 5.04856512141 277% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 13.0 7.30242825607 178% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 12.0772626932 75% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 27.0 22.412803532 120% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 36.0 30.3222958057 119% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 5.01324503311 180% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1783.0 1373.03311258 130% => OK
No of words: 358.0 270.72406181 132% => OK
Chars per words: 4.98044692737 5.08290768461 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34981470047 4.04702891845 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74949030745 2.5805825403 107% => OK
Unique words: 164.0 145.348785872 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.458100558659 0.540411800872 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 532.8 419.366225166 127% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.55342163355 97% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 3.25607064018 123% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.23620309051 49% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.25165562914 80% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.51434878587 132% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 2.5761589404 39% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 13.0662251656 130% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 21.2450331126 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.4524342434 49.2860985944 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.882352941 110.228320801 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0588235294 21.698381199 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.94117647059 7.06452816374 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 4.19205298013 24% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 4.33554083885 254% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 4.45695364238 112% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.27373068433 23% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.231311252286 0.272083759551 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.101717989593 0.0996497079465 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0650499297942 0.0662205650399 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.172042068863 0.162205337803 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0255366057532 0.0443174109184 58% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 13.3589403974 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 53.8541721854 109% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 5.55761589404 158% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 11.0289183223 93% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.6 12.2367328918 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.63 8.42419426049 91% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 63.6247240618 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.7273730684 103% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.498013245 99% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.2008830022 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.