TOEFL integrated writing: Altruism.

Both the reading and lecture are about the act of altruism shown by animals and human beings, which is behavior opposite to selfishness. The author believes that both animals and humans perform acts of altruism. The lecturer casts doubt on the claims made by the article. She thinks that in such altruistic acts animals and humans might gain something.

First of all, the author points out that humans help others without any self-interest. To illustrate the article provides examples of sharing of food with strangers and the donation of body organisms. The lecturer challenges this point. She says that humans who perform such deeds of selfishness might gain something from it. Furthermore, she argues peoples who donate organisms get appreciation and approval from the receiver and society. This gain can be quite significant for some society members.

Second, the author contends that animals such as meerkats perform the act of altruism. The article argues that sentinel meerkats don't eat before standing as a guard, sets an alarm whenever a predator comes near the group of meerkats, and run alone for shelter which increases the chances of predator capturing the sentinel meerkat. This argument is rugged by the lecturer. She points out that this act of guard is different than as thought previously. She further elaborates this point by citing the results of a study, which states that meerkat before taking the position of the sentinel eats to full stomach. Moreover, the guard meerkat stands nearest to a shelter than the other group members who are searching for food and are scattered. So, if a predator attacks then the possibility of sentinel to escape is more than any other member.

Thus, in this way, the acts which are thought to be out of pure altruism might not be as thought previously.

Votes
Average: 0.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 130, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...e article argues that sentinel meerkats dont eat before standing as a guard, sets an...
^^^^
Line 5, column 425, Rule ID: RATHER_THEN[2]
Message: Did you mean 'different 'from''? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
Suggestion: from
...out that this act of guard is different than as thought previously. She further elab...
^^^^
Line 5, column 743, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[4]
Message: “So , if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...e searching for food and are scattered. So, if a predator attacks then the possibility...
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, furthermore, if, moreover, second, so, then, thus, such as, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 10.4613686534 105% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 5.04856512141 79% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 7.30242825607 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 12.0772626932 124% => OK
Pronoun: 20.0 22.412803532 89% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 30.3222958057 129% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 5.01324503311 80% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1517.0 1373.03311258 110% => OK
No of words: 300.0 270.72406181 111% => OK
Chars per words: 5.05666666667 5.08290768461 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.16179145029 4.04702891845 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55402732083 2.5805825403 99% => OK
Unique words: 158.0 145.348785872 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.526666666667 0.540411800872 97% => OK
syllable_count: 442.8 419.366225166 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.55342163355 97% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 3.25607064018 215% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 8.0 8.23620309051 97% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.25165562914 80% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.51434878587 66% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 2.5761589404 78% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 13.0662251656 138% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 21.2450331126 75% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 47.0765399884 49.2860985944 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 84.2777777778 110.228320801 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.6666666667 21.698381199 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.38888888889 7.06452816374 62% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 4.19205298013 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 4.33554083885 161% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 4.45695364238 112% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.27373068433 140% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0482618226984 0.272083759551 18% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0183088273548 0.0996497079465 18% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0348678588728 0.0662205650399 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0386894026603 0.162205337803 24% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0294650729762 0.0443174109184 66% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 13.3589403974 80% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 53.8541721854 118% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 11.0289183223 76% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.77 12.2367328918 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.22 8.42419426049 98% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 63.6247240618 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 5.5 10.7273730684 51% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.498013245 80% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.2008830022 80% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.