TPO-46 - Integrated Writing Task In the United States, medical information about patients traditionally has been recorded and stored on paper forms. However, there are efforts to persuade doctors to adopt electronic medical record systems in which informa
The author of the reading passage and the professor both discuss whether or not the doctors should store the patients' medical documents in electronic databases rather than keeping on paper, traditional way. The author talks about three benefits of using the electronic record system. However, the professor thinks that the author’s theories contain some defects.
First of all, although the author claims that using electronic record system can reduce the cost of storing and transporting medical records because electronic record requires no space. However, the professor disagrees. She thinks that the cost savings are unlikely as the author suggests. Because doctors still keep the paper records for emergency backup. And doctors signed the papers due to legal reasons; they don’t throw out the paper records. Therefore, using electronic records won’t decrease the cost.
In addition, the author raises the point that use of the electronic system can reduce the chance of medical errors, such as unclear handwriting, incorrect transcription of record, and other mistakes. On the contrary, the professor questions the idea by indicating that doctors still use pen and paper to take note while examining the patients. It is usually the staff members will enter the records which the handwriting notes from the doctors into the system. In the end, even they use the electronic databases still remain the errors.
Finally, the author states that the use of the electronic database could help medical research. It is convenient that the researchers can approach the specific information from patients' records rather than the traditional way. As a result, the professor contends that according to the US law, the patients have their right to keep their records privacy from any who would like to access their data. Furthermore, the researchers need to follow the strict laws, complicated procedures, and the patients' permission. And often the permissions are not granted.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 66, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
... passage and the professor both discuss whether or not the doctors should store the patients m...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 492, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'patients'' or 'patient's'?
Suggestion: patients'; patient's
...t laws, complicated procedures, and the patients permission. And often the permissions a...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, furthermore, however, if, so, still, therefore, while, in addition, such as, as a result, first of all, on the contrary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 4.0 10.4613686534 38% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 5.04856512141 158% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 7.30242825607 110% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 12.0772626932 83% => OK
Pronoun: 17.0 22.412803532 76% => OK
Preposition: 27.0 30.3222958057 89% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 5.01324503311 60% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1683.0 1373.03311258 123% => OK
No of words: 308.0 270.72406181 114% => OK
Chars per words: 5.46428571429 5.08290768461 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.18926351222 4.04702891845 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67599246173 2.5805825403 104% => OK
Unique words: 165.0 145.348785872 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.535714285714 0.540411800872 99% => OK
syllable_count: 499.5 419.366225166 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.55342163355 103% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 3.25607064018 123% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.23620309051 121% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 1.25165562914 240% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.51434878587 264% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 2.5761589404 116% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 13.0662251656 138% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 21.2450331126 80% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 51.4926879623 49.2860985944 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.5 110.228320801 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.1111111111 21.698381199 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.5 7.06452816374 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 4.19205298013 48% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 4.33554083885 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 4.45695364238 157% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.27373068433 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.555456484978 0.272083759551 204% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.161401347686 0.0996497079465 162% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.12251330155 0.0662205650399 185% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.347740712778 0.162205337803 214% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0729120253655 0.0443174109184 165% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 13.3589403974 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 53.8541721854 101% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 5.55761589404 158% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 11.0289183223 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.09 12.2367328918 115% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.68 8.42419426049 103% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 63.6247240618 129% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.7273730684 79% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.498013245 84% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.2008830022 80% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.