TPO-46 - Integrated Writing Task In the United States, medical information about patients traditionally has been recorded and stored on paper forms. However, there are efforts to persuade doctors to adopt electronic medical record systems in which informa

The passage and the lecture debate on the advantages of storing patients' medical record in electronic databases. The passage points out that it can reduce costs, prevent errors and aid research. Finding these claims arguable, the lecture casts doubt on these and count them weak.

To begin with, according to the passage, electronic medical records can reduce cost because they do not need to be stored or transferred. The lecture, though, dismisses that because it does not significantly reduce the cost. The main purpose of the storage is for legal concern. The hospital needs these paper records to back up. In this case, doctors also need to pay storage costs if they change to electronic records.

What is more, the passage contends that electronic medical records are of vital importance to reduce the medical errors. Nevertheless, the lecture disputes this claim by saying that doctors still need paper. And there will be handwriting added later on. As a consequence, the staff could make a mistake to interpret.

Finally, in the passage, it is said that electronic medical records could aid medical research bu making it possible to gather large amounts of data from patient record. Nonetheless, the lecture disagrees with that. The lecture holds the opinion that the records are subject to strict primacy laws. Doctors have to follow procedures and ask for patients' permission to do research. Moreover, the patients could block the records for any use other than for treatment. By and large, electronic medical records could contribute to the medical research as proposed in the passage.

Votes
Average: 7.5 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 280, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...se of the storage is for legal concern. The hospital needs these paper records to b...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, if, moreover, nevertheless, nonetheless, so, still, by and large, to begin with, what is more

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 10.4613686534 67% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 5.04856512141 198% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 7.30242825607 96% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 12.0772626932 58% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 19.0 22.412803532 85% => OK
Preposition: 31.0 30.3222958057 102% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 5.01324503311 60% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1347.0 1373.03311258 98% => OK
No of words: 259.0 270.72406181 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.20077220077 5.08290768461 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.01166760082 4.04702891845 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58882540249 2.5805825403 100% => OK
Unique words: 145.0 145.348785872 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.559845559846 0.540411800872 104% => OK
syllable_count: 412.2 419.366225166 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.55342163355 103% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 3.25607064018 31% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.23620309051 146% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.25165562914 80% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.51434878587 66% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 2.5761589404 194% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 13.0662251656 138% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 21.2450331126 66% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 31.8158280354 49.2860985944 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 74.8333333333 110.228320801 68% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.3888888889 21.698381199 66% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.27777777778 7.06452816374 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 4.19205298013 24% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 4.33554083885 69% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 4.45695364238 157% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.27373068433 187% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.585616469247 0.272083759551 215% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.167969565461 0.0996497079465 169% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.150910172413 0.0662205650399 228% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.340340796298 0.162205337803 210% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0980327361516 0.0443174109184 221% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.3 13.3589403974 77% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.27 53.8541721854 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.8 11.0289183223 80% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.29 12.2367328918 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.87 8.42419426049 93% => OK
difficult_words: 58.0 63.6247240618 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.7273730684 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.498013245 72% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.2008830022 71% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.