TPO 50
The article provides that three problems have to be solved to send the people on Mars and supports each of the reasons. However, the professor says that to send the people on Mars could be challenging, but it is possible and opposes each of the author's reasons.
First, the author claims that astronauts can't take proper amounts of necessary things, which is must essential for human living, as they have to stay in Mars for a long time, due to shortage room in the cargo. On the contrary, the speaker says that astronauts can use hydronic, which will help to grow the plants. They can recycle the wastewater to drink. The plant will absorb the CO2 and release oxygen. Therefore, this oxygen will help them to take the fresh breath.
Second, the writer asserts that on Mars, there has a zero-gravity environment, which will affect astronauts health severely. In contrast, the lecturer refutes this point by saying that astronauts can learn a technique to overcome this problem. They can do some exercises regularly. Also, they can take vitamins and minerals to protect their health.
Third, the reading claims that there is a possibility to exposure of dangerous radiation. However, the professor says that the radiation is not dangerous level at all. Occasionally sun realizes the active radiation. Astronauts can use a radiation detector instrument to measure the radiation as well. So, they can stay small shield till radiation is intense. This is how the speaker says that sending a human on Mars is possible.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
The article provides that three problems have to be solved
prescription: provide sth. or sb. , for example:
they provide us with the raw materials
these clubs provide a much appreciated service for this area
neither will provide answers to these problems
necessary things, which is must essential
necessary things, which are very essential
dangerous radiation.
a dangerous radiation.
dangerous radiations.
the radiation is not dangerous level at all.
the radiation is not in dangerous level at all.
the radiation is not dangerous at all.
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flaws:
1. To get high marks, need to give a little bit more content.
No of words: 254.0 270.72406181 94% => More content wanted.
Unique words: 138.0 145.348785872 95% => More unique words wanted.
2. don't repeat words, for example, there are a lot of 'says'
3. don't repeat same styles, like:
...which is must essential for human living
...which will help to grow the plants.
...which will affect astronauts health severely.
...
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 20 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 12
No. of Words: 254 250
No. of Characters: 1226 1200
No. of Different Words: 139 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.992 4.2
Average Word Length: 4.827 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.498 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 88 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 65 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 46 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.941 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.825 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.647 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.313 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.528 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.113 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4
Please explain me how to
Please explain me how to write this three sentences in different ways.
...which is must essential for human living
...which will help to grow the plants.
...which will affect astronauts health severely.
Thank you
There are nothing wrong with
There are nothing wrong with those sentences. you still can use 'which'. Just don't repeat it.
astronauts can't take proper amounts of necessary things, which is must essential for human living,
astronauts can't take proper amounts of necessary things, the essentials for human living,
astronauts can't take proper amounts of necessary things that/which are essential for human living,
astronauts can use hydronic, which will help to grow the plants.
astronauts can use hydronics to grow the plants.
astronauts can help the plants grow by hydronics .
there has a zero-gravity environment, which will affect astronauts health severely.
there is a zero-gravity environment to affect astronauts' health severely.
a zero-gravity environment will affect astronauts' health severely.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 42, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...irst, the author claims that astronauts cant take proper amounts of necessary things...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, second, so, therefore, third, well, in contrast, on the contrary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 10.4613686534 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 5.04856512141 257% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 5.0 7.30242825607 68% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 12.0772626932 99% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 22.412803532 94% => OK
Preposition: 27.0 30.3222958057 89% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 5.01324503311 160% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1271.0 1373.03311258 93% => OK
No of words: 254.0 270.72406181 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.00393700787 5.08290768461 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.99216450694 4.04702891845 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60702763568 2.5805825403 101% => OK
Unique words: 138.0 145.348785872 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.543307086614 0.540411800872 101% => OK
syllable_count: 375.3 419.366225166 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.55342163355 97% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 3.25607064018 184% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.23620309051 109% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.25165562914 80% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.51434878587 66% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 2.5761589404 78% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 13.0662251656 130% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 21.2450331126 66% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 42.9608335347 49.2860985944 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 74.7647058824 110.228320801 68% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.9411764706 21.698381199 69% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.35294117647 7.06452816374 76% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 4.19205298013 24% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 4.33554083885 208% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 4.45695364238 90% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.27373068433 94% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0 0.272083759551 0% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0 0.0996497079465 0% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0662205650399 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0 0.162205337803 0% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0443174109184 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.6 13.3589403974 72% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 65.73 53.8541721854 122% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 11.0289183223 69% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.13 12.2367328918 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.0 8.42419426049 95% => OK
difficult_words: 59.0 63.6247240618 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.7273730684 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.498013245 72% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.2008830022 71% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.