TPO-50 - Integrated Writing Task: Scientists are considering the possibility of sending humans to Mars in the coming decades. Although there have been successful manned missions to the Moon in the 1960s and 1970s, Mars is 150 times further away from Earth

Essay topics:

TPO-50 - Integrated Writing Task: Scientists are considering the possibility of sending humans to Mars in the coming decades. Although there have been successful manned missions to the Moon in the 1960s and 1970s, Mars is 150 times further away from Earth than the Moon is. Thus the project of sending humans to Mars would require solving an array of problems the Moon missions did not have to face.

One problem is that a round-trip to Mars and back is likely to take at least two years. The trip to the Moon lasted only a few days, and it was easy to bring enough supplies of food, water, and oxygen; but the cargo capacity of space vehicles is too limited to put on board the food, water, and oxygen required by a crew for a period of two years. Without those essentials, though, a Mars mission is impossible.

A second problem is that astronauts on the Mars mission would be in the zero-gravity environment of space for many months at a time. Spending a long time in the zero-gravity environment has negative effects on the human body, such as decreased muscle mass and lower bone density. Over the course of a two-year mission, the effects would be so severe, they would make it impossible for humans to make the trip without experiencing grave medical problems

Finally, astronauts on a mission to Mars would be exposed to dangerous levels of space radiation, much of which comes in the form of charged particles emitted by the Sun. Earth's magnetic field, which normally protects us from dangerous solar radiation, would not be able to protect a spaceship traveling in interplanetary space. Constructing a shield that would protect the whole spaceship from space radiation is at present impossible because it would add too much weight to the ship.

The reading and the lecture both discuss the challenges associated with sending humans to Mars. The passage claims that accomplishing this mission demands handling a number of issues which have not been previously addressed in the former manned missions to the Moon. On the other hand, the lecture casts doubt on it by citing three already existed solutions to the specific problems made in the reading passage.

First, astronauts can apply a particular cultivation technique by which plants' root can grow in water rather than soil, making it possible to cultivate the food crops in a much smaller payload. In addition, astronauts on a mission to Mars would enjoy not only a sustainable source of clean water obtained by recycling the plants' wastewater, but some fresh air to breath as well, thanks to the plants' photosynthetic ability to convert carbon dioxide into oxygen.

Second, there are quite a few well-practiced techniques already attainable, effectively dealing with the health issues caused by spending a long period of time in the zero-gravity situation of space missions. For instance, astronauts would exercise on a regular basis and use nutritional supplements such as calcium to maintain their physical health during the mission.

Third, owing to its inherent fluctuations, solar radiation in the interplanetary travel would not be much of a risk for astronauts during most of the spaceflight. In fact, astronauts would have to remain in an otherwise weighty shielded chamber for a short period of time only when the radiation detector equipped with the spaceship alerted them to the dangerous radiation.

Votes
Average: 7.8 (4 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 323, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'plants'' or 'plant's'?
Suggestion: plants'; plant's
...f clean water obtained by recycling the plants wastewater, but some fresh air to breat...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 146, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...health issues caused by spending a long period of time in the zero-gravity situation of space ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 258, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...se weighty shielded chamber for a short period of time only when the radiation detector equipp...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, second, so, third, well, for instance, in addition, in fact, such as, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 3.0 10.4613686534 29% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 5.04856512141 119% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 7.30242825607 41% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 4.0 12.0772626932 33% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 7.0 22.412803532 31% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 30.3222958057 139% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 5.01324503311 140% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1376.0 1373.03311258 100% => OK
No of words: 258.0 270.72406181 95% => OK
Chars per words: 5.33333333333 5.08290768461 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.00778971557 4.04702891845 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.91813877707 2.5805825403 113% => OK
Unique words: 164.0 145.348785872 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.635658914729 0.540411800872 118% => OK
syllable_count: 413.1 419.366225166 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.55342163355 103% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 3.25607064018 0% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.23620309051 36% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.25165562914 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.51434878587 66% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 2.5761589404 155% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 9.0 13.0662251656 69% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 21.2450331126 132% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 45.647873938 49.2860985944 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 152.888888889 110.228320801 139% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.6666666667 21.698381199 132% => OK
Discourse Markers: 11.4444444444 7.06452816374 162% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 4.19205298013 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 4.33554083885 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 4.45695364238 67% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.27373068433 47% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.100798447002 0.272083759551 37% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0390915925435 0.0996497079465 39% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0414448526752 0.0662205650399 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0545366041974 0.162205337803 34% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0365581841496 0.0443174109184 82% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.0 13.3589403974 135% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.06 53.8541721854 80% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 5.55761589404 158% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 11.0289183223 129% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.23 12.2367328918 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.86 8.42419426049 117% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 63.6247240618 124% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.7273730684 126% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.498013245 126% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.2008830022 125% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.