TPO42 Integrated Writing

Essay topics:

TPO42 Integrated Writing

The reading and the lecture are both about the dangers of using glass in modern architecture. The author of the reading feels that there are several solutions which can be used to prevent injuries caused by the dangers to birds. The lecturer challenges the claim made by the author. he is of the opinion that these ideas will not work well and all of these solutions are not useful.

To begin with, the author argues that one-Way glass which is a transparent glass in only one direction can help to prevent damages. The article mentions that the occupants of the building can see out, but the birds cannot see inside. so, they understand that glass forms a solid barrier and will not make an effort to fly through it. The specific argument is challenged by the lecturer. he claims that the birds outside the glass assume that as a mirror because it reflects. additionally, he says that the birds are not familiar with reflection and they think every object in the glass is real. so, they will get so confused and troubled with the one-Way glass.

Secondly, the writer suggests that painting on regular window glass make bird noticed about existence of the window. In the article, it is said that the window could have thin stripes painted over the glass and people would still able to see the outside through the opening, while the birds would notice the signs of stripes thus avoid trying to fly through the glass. The lecturer, however, rebuts this by mentioning problems of painting stipes on glasses. he elaborates on this by bringing up the point that painting stripes will make the glass similar to openings from the outside. The birds consider these openings as open holes and they want to fly right through the holes. he additionally says that the solution is to design very small windows to prevent birds from flying inside but that would make the room too dark.

Finally, the author posits that by creating an artificial magnetic field, the birds will fly away from the building. Moreover, it is stated in the article that birds use a magnetic navigation system like a magnetic compass which is used by humans for orientation detection. so, they can use this magnetic power to guide the birds away from the buildings. In contrast, the lecturer's position is that the magnetic field will not work well because the birds use their magnetic power for long-distance traveling. he notes that they use that magnetic sensation when immigrating from cold to warm places not from one side of city to the other side. they use only their eyes and brightness of the light for navigating their direction.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 230, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...njuries caused by the dangers to birds. The lecturer challenges the claim made by t...
^^^
Line 1, column 284, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: He
...hallenges the claim made by the author. he is of the opinion that these ideas will...
^^
Line 3, column 235, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
...e out, but the birds cannot see inside. so, they understand that glass forms a sol...
^^
Line 3, column 388, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: He
...argument is challenged by the lecturer. he claims that the birds outside the glass...
^^
Line 3, column 476, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Additionally
...e that as a mirror because it reflects. additionally, he says that the birds are not familia...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 596, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
...hink every object in the glass is real. so, they will get so confused and troubled...
^^
Line 5, column 459, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: He
...problems of painting stipes on glasses. he elaborates on this by bringing up the p...
^^
Line 5, column 680, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: He
...ey want to fly right through the holes. he additionally says that the solution is ...
^^
Line 7, column 275, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
...ed by humans for orientation detection. so, they can use this magnetic power to gu...
^^
Line 7, column 510, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: He
...etic power for long-distance traveling. he notes that they use that magnetic sensa...
^^
Line 7, column 644, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: They
...rom one side of city to the other side. they use only their eyes and brightness of t...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, however, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, still, thus, well, while, in contrast, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 10.4613686534 134% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 5.04856512141 297% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 10.0 7.30242825607 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 22.0 12.0772626932 182% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 22.412803532 196% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 64.0 30.3222958057 211% => Less preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 12.0 5.01324503311 239% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2159.0 1373.03311258 157% => OK
No of words: 451.0 270.72406181 167% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.78713968958 5.08290768461 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60833598836 4.04702891845 114% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.36855671542 2.5805825403 92% => OK
Unique words: 213.0 145.348785872 147% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.472283813747 0.540411800872 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 646.2 419.366225166 154% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.55342163355 90% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 3.25607064018 369% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 12.0 8.23620309051 146% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.25165562914 80% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.51434878587 66% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 2.5761589404 116% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 13.0662251656 176% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 21.2450331126 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.1661302961 49.2860985944 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.8695652174 110.228320801 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.6086956522 21.698381199 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.82608695652 7.06452816374 68% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 4.19205298013 262% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 4.33554083885 185% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 4.45695364238 202% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.27373068433 140% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.626550079066 0.272083759551 230% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.164081023435 0.0996497079465 165% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0909223365181 0.0662205650399 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.332079338215 0.162205337803 205% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.12446494302 0.0443174109184 281% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.9 13.3589403974 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 53.8541721854 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 11.0289183223 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.5 12.2367328918 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.87 8.42419426049 93% => OK
difficult_words: 94.0 63.6247240618 148% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.7273730684 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.498013245 91% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.2008830022 71% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Write the essay in 20 minutes.

Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.