In the United States medical information about patients traditionally has been recorded and stored on paper forms However there are efforts to persuade doctors to adopt electronic medical record systems in which information about patients is stored in ele

Essay topics:

In the United States, medical information about patients traditionally has been recorded and stored on paper forms. However, there are efforts to persuade doctors to adopt electronic medical record systems in which information about patients is stored in electronic databases rather than on paper. It is argued that storing patients’ medical records in electronic databases has several advantages over traditional paper-based record keeping.
Reducing Costs
First, the use of electronic records can help reduce costs by saving money on storing and transferring medical records. While paper records require a significant amount of storage space, electronic medical records take up virtually no space. Moreover, by having patients’ records computerized in databases, doctors can easily access the records from almost anywhere and can easily duplicate and transfer them when necessary. This costs much less than copying, faxing, or transporting paper records from one location to another.
Preventing Errors
Second, electronic medical records are crucial to reducing the chances of medical errors. Illegible handwriting, improper transcription of data, and nonstandard organization of paper records have caused errors that in some cases have had serious consequences for the patients’ health. In contrast, electronic records are associated with standardization of forms and legible computer fonts and thus minimize the possibility of human error.
Aiding Research
Third, electronic medical records can greatly aid medical research by making it possible to gather large amounts of data from patient records. It is often impractical, impossible, or prohibitively expensive to manually go through thousands of patients’ paper records housed in doctors’ offices. However, with the existence of electronic medical records, it would be simple to draw out the needed information from the medical databases because the databases are already formatted for data collection. Once in the electronic system, the records could be accessed from any research location.

Both the reading and lecture are about the medical information in two forms, paper forms and electronics forms. The author claims that using electronic versions can bring three benefits over paper versions. The lecturer, however, refutes the claim. He is of opinion that the benefits from electronic version are uncertain.

To begin with, the passage states that electronic records can save money on storing and transferring medical records. This is because electronic records take up virtually no space and doctor can easily access them when necessary. Nevertheless, the lecture says the cost-saving effect might not be significant. Since most doctors still have a paper copy for back-up, they actually print out when they use electronic version. Plus the legal requires signature. Therefore, electronic records do not reduce costs.

Second, the reading mentions that the electronic records are integral to reduce the chance of medical errors. Since illegible handwriting and other reasons probably cause harm to the patients' health. The lecturer, however, says that paper records can not prevent this errors. Because doctors still take notes on paper record first and type it into computers, the staff may misunderstand the writing of doctors.

Finally, the author maintains that electronic medical record can aid research. In contrast, the lecturer mention doctors usually can get data because of the strict privacy law in US. As long as a patient deny access to his medical record, doctors can only see it on personal medicine. In the end, the electronic can't bring much benefit to research.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 184, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'patients'' or 'patient's'?
Suggestion: patients'; patient's
...ther reasons probably cause harm to the patients health. The lecturer, however, says tha...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 264, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...says that paper records can not prevent this errors. Because doctors still take note...
^^^^
Line 7, column 313, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...al medicine. In the end, the electronic cant bring much benefit to research.
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, finally, first, however, if, may, nevertheless, second, so, still, therefore, in contrast, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 10.4613686534 57% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 5.04856512141 178% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 7.30242825607 82% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 12.0772626932 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 22.412803532 71% => OK
Preposition: 26.0 30.3222958057 86% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 5.01324503311 40% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1356.0 1373.03311258 99% => OK
No of words: 251.0 270.72406181 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.40239043825 5.08290768461 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.98032404683 4.04702891845 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6061868021 2.5805825403 101% => OK
Unique words: 150.0 145.348785872 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.597609561753 0.540411800872 111% => OK
syllable_count: 413.1 419.366225166 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.55342163355 103% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 3.25607064018 92% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.23620309051 121% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 1.25165562914 320% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.51434878587 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 2.5761589404 194% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 13.0662251656 138% => OK
Sentence length: 13.0 21.2450331126 61% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 27.1584854757 49.2860985944 55% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 75.3333333333 110.228320801 68% => OK
Words per sentence: 13.9444444444 21.698381199 64% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.33333333333 7.06452816374 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 4.19205298013 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 4.33554083885 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 4.45695364238 157% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.27373068433 140% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.301390984017 0.272083759551 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0878062876191 0.0996497079465 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0737541434253 0.0662205650399 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.17745245012 0.162205337803 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.00730068318147 0.0443174109184 16% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 13.3589403974 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.28 53.8541721854 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 11.0289183223 76% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.45 12.2367328918 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.5 8.42419426049 101% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 63.6247240618 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.7273730684 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.2 10.498013245 69% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.2008830022 80% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.