The following appeared in a memo from New Ventures Consulting to the president of HobCo, Inc., a chain of hobby shops: "Our team has completed its research on suitable building sites for a new HobCo hobby Shop in the city of Grilldon. We discovered that t

Essay topics:

The following appeared in a memo from New Ventures Consulting to the president of HobCo, Inc., a chain of hobby shops:

"Our team has completed its research on suitable building sites for a new HobCo hobby Shop in the city of Grilldon. We discovered that there are currently no hobby shops in southeastern Grilldon. When our researchers conducted a poll of area residents, 88 percent of those who responded indicated that they would welcome the opening of a hobby shop in southeastern Grilldon. Grilldon is in a region of the nation in which the hobby business has increased by 300 percent during the past decade. In addition, Grilldon has a very large population of retirees, a demographic with ample time to devote to hobbies. We therefore recommend that you choose southeastern Grilldon as the site for your next HobCo Hobby Shop. We predict that a shop in this area will draw a steady stream of enthusiastic new HobCo customers."

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

The topic was about building a Hobo hobby shop in the city of Gildon, as the city has a large population of retirees and ample time to devote to hobbies. Also, hobby business increases 300 percent during the past decade. The argument is based on the unwarranted assumption and flawed for the following reasons.

First of all, the author told that the team completed its research and choose suitable building sites, but the author does not provide any information about on what basis the research had been done and how to choose the selective area. How the author concluded that the area will be suitable for everyone. For example, people might have a different hobby, like gardening, reading or maybe physical activities. People who like gardening or physical activities like to have a park or field near them whereas people who like reading preferred calm and cozy places. Are all those facilities available in one place, the author does not provide any information.

The author also told that they had conducted a poll on residents and 88 percent of people welcome their idea. But the author does not provide any information about the actual number of people on whom the poll was conducted. Did they conduct a survey on the whole city or only southern Gildon or maybe a specific locality? as percentage does not represent the actual number, it could not be concluded that the majority population agreed on hobby shop.

The author represents another data that Gildon is a region where hobby business increase by 300 percent during the past decade. it might be possible apart from southern Gildon the region was part of the change, maybe that's why the southern region does not have any hobby shop. it might possible that the larger population of Gildon is retirees but the population of southern is rather young and they are students or workers. They do not have time for a hobby shop or they take part in clubs as their hobbies.

The following argument is flawed and based on unwarranted reasons, the argument failed to provide any convincing data that majority population agree with Hobo hobby shop and overall population convince with the area of the shop.

Votes
Average: 5 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 322, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: As
...rn Gildon or maybe a specific locality? as percentage does not represent the actua...
^^
Line 4, column 128, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
... by 300 percent during the past decade. it might be possible apart from southern G...
^^
Line 4, column 217, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: that's
...he region was part of the change, maybe thats why the southern region does not have a...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 277, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...rn region does not have any hobby shop. it might possible that the larger populati...
^^
Line 5, column 229, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ion convince with the area of the shop.
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, so, whereas, apart from, for example, first of all, on the whole

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.9520958084 39% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 11.1786427146 170% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 55.5748502994 72% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1799.0 2260.96107784 80% => OK
No of words: 369.0 441.139720559 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.87533875339 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38284983912 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.44222313581 2.78398813304 88% => OK
Unique words: 165.0 204.123752495 81% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.447154471545 0.468620217663 95% => OK
syllable_count: 573.3 705.55239521 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.9996687024 57.8364921388 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.823529412 119.503703932 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.7058823529 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.35294117647 5.70786347227 94% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.141228491148 0.218282227539 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0485508735845 0.0743258471296 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0404648908576 0.0701772020484 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0868770922443 0.128457276422 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0369790498939 0.0628817314937 59% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.02 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.76 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 98.500998004 73% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 369 350
No. of Characters: 1760 1500
No. of Different Words: 161 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.383 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.77 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.382 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 124 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 83 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.357 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.238 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.362 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.615 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.136 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5