Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic regions. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of the year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the purported decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.
The author concludes that the arctic deer populations are declining due to melting of ice caused by global warming. This conclusion is flawed and has no solid basis. There are many assumptions made by the author and the premises lack substantiative information. Therefore, the author’s statement about the deer populations is not acceptable and a proper evaluation of the situation needs to be done based on facts.
Firstly, the author gives no evidence that the deer populations are declining. He only mentions the speculative observations of the local hunters. There is no reason to believe that the hunters are telling the truth, or that they are even reliable sources of information. The author can conduct a survey of the islands for signs and traces of the deer to arrive at any conclusion about the populations. If the survey also points towards a decline, then it will give some root to the author’s claim.
Another assumption that the author makes, is that the population decline is caused by the melting of ice which bridges the islands. Again, there is no factual data or observations given for this claim. The deer populations can decrease due to various reasons such as, loss of habitat and grass, introduction of a competitor or predator into their environment, human interference. There is no causal relation shown between melting of sea ice and the population decline. In fact, there is no evidence provided which shows that the sea ice is actually melting. Global warming is certainly melting sea ice, but it is not certain as to the extent to which the island bridges are affected.
The statements made by the author are all unsubstantiated and need a backbone to stand on. The author can measure the change in the amount of ice and the deer populations, and calculate the correlation between the two. Such a quantitative value will effectively weaken or strengthen the author’s claims.
In conclusion, the author’s claim about the deer populations is full of holes and does not hold much water. There are no pieces of evidence given which show that the deer populations are decreasing. Along with that, there is no factual observation of the ice bridge actually melting due to global warming. The author can give a population survey of the deer, and calculate a correlation coefficient for the change in population and the amount of ice. This will greatly enhance or completely debunk the author’s claims.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 405 350
No. of Characters: 1978 1500
No. of Different Words: 176 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.486 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.884 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.781 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 140 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 104 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.609 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.298 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.348 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.339 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.513 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.084 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 17, column 433, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...coefficient for the change in population and the amount of ice. This will greatly...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, firstly, if, so, then, therefore, as to, in conclusion, in fact, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 11.1786427146 161% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 17.0 28.8173652695 59% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 55.5748502994 79% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2068.0 2260.96107784 91% => OK
No of words: 405.0 441.139720559 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.10617283951 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48604634366 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96954413147 2.78398813304 107% => OK
Unique words: 187.0 204.123752495 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.461728395062 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 647.1 705.55239521 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 30.419872124 57.8364921388 53% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 89.9130434783 119.503703932 75% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.6086956522 23.324526521 75% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.34782608696 5.70786347227 76% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 6.88822355289 160% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.117412500229 0.218282227539 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0371665992025 0.0743258471296 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0376028455993 0.0701772020484 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0700980436752 0.128457276422 55% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0326605686214 0.0628817314937 52% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 14.3799401198 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.3550499002 112% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.06 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.11 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 98.500998004 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 12.3882235529 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.