Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic regions. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of the year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the purported decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.
In the prompt, it is stated that the decline in deer population is due to deers' being unable to cross the frozen sea and follow their familiar migration routes. The prompt has come to this conclusion based on the fact that the decline in deer population parallels that of melting sea ice, a situation aggravated by global warming. However, before this conclusion can be properly evaluated, three questions must be answered.
Firstly, is there any evidence that the deer population did not suffer a hit due to increased human activity? For example, an increased human activity in the area surrounding the migration paths of the deer population can significantly restrict the deers' mobility and this would imply that the deers would have to look for their sustenance in a restricted area. This would substantially increase the competition as the deer population would scramble to get on their hands on a limited, low food supply and subsequently due to shortage of foods, the population would decline. If this scenario has merit, then the conclusion drawn in the prompt is significantly weakened.
Secondly, does the author present any evidence to disregard a disease outbreak in the deer population as a possibility for their decline? It might also be the case that the deer population experienced a novel disease outbreak and this severely restricted their ability to graze over a large area of land. This immobility would render the affected deers incapable of finding food on their own. Therefore, it could be scenario that, the deer population finds an alternate route to their usual migration path, but marred with the disease, their population started to decline. If the above scenaior is true, then the argument in the prompt does not hold water.
In conclusion, the argument as it stands now, is significantly flawed due to its reliance on several unwarranted assumptions. It is possible that there are other factors at play that can significantly reduce the deer population. If the author of the prompt is able to answer the two aforementioned questions and offer more evidence, then it will be possible to fully evaluate the conclusion drawn in the prompt that sea ice melting is the sole reason for the decline in deer population.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 371 350
No. of Characters: 1834 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.389 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.943 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.782 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 123 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 99 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.733 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.747 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.375 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.554 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.083 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 250, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'deers'' or 'deer's'?
Suggestion: deers'; deer's
...pulation can significantly restrict the deers mobility and this would imply that the ...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, look, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, for example, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 55.5748502994 76% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 16.3942115768 146% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1881.0 2260.96107784 83% => OK
No of words: 371.0 441.139720559 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.07008086253 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38877662729 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84913182967 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 176.0 204.123752495 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.474393530997 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 589.5 705.55239521 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.8213818054 57.8364921388 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 125.4 119.503703932 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.7333333333 23.324526521 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.4 5.70786347227 130% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.101251707552 0.218282227539 46% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0401545721728 0.0743258471296 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0301286613372 0.0701772020484 43% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0673237794355 0.128457276422 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0199069825847 0.0628817314937 32% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.8 14.3799401198 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.42 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.4 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 98.500998004 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.